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A: A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Slogans For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

By: SeaweedyPublished: 09/04/2001
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1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like...night.
3. On the other have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
12. I intend to live forever -- so far so good.
13. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
14. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
15. Support bacteria -- they're the only culture some people have.
16. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
17. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
18. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
19. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
20. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
21. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
22. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
23. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
24. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
25. Change is inevitable...except from vending machines.
26. Get a new car for your spouse -- it'll be a great trade!
27. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
28. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
29. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
30. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of

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    This Section


    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Priceless (0 replies)
    started by bigswifty
    (09.05.2001 10:47:11 PM EST)


    Thanks seeweedy, I'll use these at work!!


    Good joke, Seaweedy. (0 replies)
    started by kweenbee
    (09.04.2001 7:32:03 PM EST)

    Thanks for sharing it with us.

    Love the country, live to pee outside!

    Good ones, Seaweedy! (0 replies)
    started by beckdaddy
    (09.04.2001 7:23:26 PM EST)

    Some I've seen but some were new to me. Thanks for the post! 5 G-balls to ya!

    Nice shot!

    And my signature.... (0 replies)
    started by nakedcanuck
    (09.04.2001 5:05:09 PM EST)

    ...says it all.

    The Naked Canuck
    Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
    He who says ... (0 replies)
    started by marvin
    (09.04.2001 10:10:49 AM EST)

    FIRST ! Is a moron ? LOL

    Kiss My Ass !

    I use these (1 reply)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (09.04.2001 8:56:43 AM EST)

    I use these on occasion as my signature on emails, they're pretty good.

    Here's a couple more:
    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts...


    Lol (0 replies)  
    started by obiwan
    (09.04.2001 6:06:45 AM EST)

    Those were funny, Seaweedy!

    ~Obiwan~ is not responsible for any content which individual users post. reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.

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    Goofball Facts
    The rock band 'Lynyrd Skynyrd' took their name from a high school teacher named Leonard Skinner who had suspended several students for having long hair.