"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it." Source: Business Week Online, "A Gentleman's "C" for W," Richard S. Dunham, July 30, 2001
"You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment,and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment?I'm like that all the time." Steven Wright, Comedian
#205 For every human being in the world there is approximately one chicken.#206 Over 1 million earths would fit inside the sun.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly she has to get her vibrator drunk first.
Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy? A: She's withholding evidence.
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before?
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there."
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds recieved in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.