"If you find a neighbor in need, you're responsible for serving that neighbor in need, you're responsible for loving a neighbor just like you'd like to love yourself." Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on the Economy," Sept. 16, 2002
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I'veforgotten this before." Steven Wright, Comedian
#199 The largest cheesecake ever-made weighed 57,508 lbs.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly it looks like she sleeps on a bed of nails face down!
Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties? A: To find a tight seal.
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before?
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there."
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