These should bring a smile!!! The following are the top four
winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the New Woman Magazine.
1.) While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now",she
would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said
in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity
and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
Amy Richardson;
Stafford,Virginia
2.) It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at
home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.
As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs.
I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.
Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a
whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"
My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends
were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock
and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in
my family has planned a surprise party again...
3.) One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon
in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount
store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her
items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on
the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE
THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone,
a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN
WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER???"
4.) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went
back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered
that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him go down to the principal's office, he was to phone
his mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and he
returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat. Suddenly, there
was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his
penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon,
she'd come and pick me up from school ..."
