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George W. Bush
 
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." Source: United Press International, "Bush Proposes Increase in Education Funds," Mark Kukis, Feb. 21, 2001
 
 

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"I believe that every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
— Neil Armstrong
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#175 In 1634, tulip bulbs were a form of currency in Holland.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
has is so many teeth missing, it looks like her tongue is in jail.
 
 

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Q: What do a farmer and a pimp have in common?
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Don't you feel like sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
 
 


Top Excuses If Found Asleep At Your Desk

By: PortaJonPublished: 01/31/2001
 
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  • "Oh, man! Come in at 6AM and look what happens!"
  • "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
  • "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work."
  • "Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
  • "They told me at the blood bank that this might happen."
  • "Oh, hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."
  • "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
  • "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."
  • "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
  • "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
  • "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"
  • "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight."
  • "I was working smarter -- not harder."
  • "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
  • "I'm in the management training program."
  • "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
  • "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off."
  • "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
  • "It's okay... I'm still billing the client."

    And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk:

  • "...and I especially thank you for my excellent boss, Amen!"

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    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    i guess (0 replies)
    started by paparoach1
    (01.31.2001 3:14:29 PM EST)

    some of those might work

    We're going to infest

    A typical e-mail.... (0 replies)
    started by NakedCanuck
    (01.31.2001 12:00:38 PM EST)


    Wow. This must be too many words for most of the goofballers - total lack of comments.
    (Except, there's always someone that needs to claim "first". ugh)

    The Naked CanuckEverybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

    First, First, First (0 replies)  
    started by thejudgerules
    (01.31.2001 3:23:41 AM EST)

    Now I can go to heaven and tell everyone that on this date........I was first on Goofball.

    thejudgerules

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