"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, oftentimes, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from."Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
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"I deny all the allegations and I defy the alligators!" — indicted Chicago alderman
Snapple Facts
#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
One Liners
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A. Anyone can roast beef.
New York Yankees pitching phenom Joba Chamberlain was arrested in October 2008 for drunk driving. The athlete pleaded guilty in April 2009 to a DUI charge and was placed on
probation for nine months and had his driver's license suspended for 60 days. After Chamberlain was pulled over for speeding in Lincoln, Nebraska, a state trooper noticed an open
bottle of Crown Royal whiskey on the front passenger seat of the BMW the ballplayer was driving. After failing a pair of field sobriety tests, Chamberlain took a Breathalyzer test, which
showed his blood alcohol content was .134, above the state's .08 limit.
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