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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
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George W. Bush |
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"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
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Random Quote |
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Man Thought Hurt But Slightly Dead
— headline from the Providence (R.I.) Journal
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Snapple Facts |
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#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
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One Liners |
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Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
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 Jose Canseco | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 11/30/1998 | | |  |
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INCIDENT REPORT
NAME: Jose Canseco
LOCATION: Dade County, Florida
ARREST: March 4, 1984
CHARGE: Speeding
Canseco, the 1988 American League MVP, has been arrested for a series of
auto-related crimes. In his candy-apple-red Jaguar XJS, he was arrested in Florida several times for speeding; while he was having an MRI performed on his arm at the University of California at San Francisco Medical Center, an unidentified passerby noticed a .9mm handgun on the floor of Canseco's car.
As Canseco and his wife were preparing to pull out of the hospital's parking spot, police stopped them. The Cansecos were asked to step away from the vehicle and the loaded gun was taken into police
possession. Canseco was arrested for illegal possession of a handgun and released on $2,500 bail.
He ultimately pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor of possessing a weapon in an automobile and received a sentence of three years' unsupervised probation. In another incident, Canseco was arrested in his white Porsche for speeding and driving without a license. "I got pulled over for driving thirteen miles over the speed limit," stated the slugger. -Can you believe that?"
 Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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A pair of flies can produce one trillion offspring over the course of a summer.
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