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	George W. Bush
	"I really appreciate the hardworking staff—the docs, the nurses, the people who make this fantastic facility operate in a way that makes me pride, and in a way that will make every American proud when they learn your story. "—Bush, speaking in Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2003

	Random Quote
	"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it's two hours. That's relativity." — Albert Einstein

	Snapple Facts
	#163 The first penny had the motto "Mind your own business".

	Yo Mama ...
	is so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

	One Liners
	Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung? A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Montana State Trooper Some drunks get all the good stories! ... 05.03.2007 Hey Buddy, Are You Stoned? OCTOBER 11--The mother of a two-year-old Wisconsin ... 04.26.2007 Top 10 April Fool's Pranks From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history. 04.01.2007 Robbing The Cradle On Credit (Old Lady Really Gets It) An 84-year-old woman who confessed to having sex with an 11-year-old boy in her foster care reached a deal with prosecutors and pleaded ... 03.17.2007

Two Years Ago
	Hair-Raising Beethoven Piece Beethoven composed many enduring symphonies, but now ... 05.15.2006 This Explains A Lot More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday. 05.13.2006 Model's Blonde Moment A supermodel fell out of a coach travelling at 50mph after mistaking an exit door for a toilet door ... 05.12.2006 Foot Fetish Freak Finally Caught A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years ... 05.11.2006

Lookie Here!
	Spy vs. Spy Casebook

	Goofball Facts
	A robin's egg is blue, but if you put it in vineger for thirty days it turns yellow.