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	George W. Bush
	"Oftentimes, we live in a processed world—you know, people focus on the process and not results." —Bush, speaking on the Middle East peace process Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Interview With Print Journalists," June 2, 2003

	Random Quote
	"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play." — Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record. (1992)

	Snapple Facts
	#152 In 1985, the fastest bicyclist was clocked at 154 mph.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

	One Liners
	Q: How do you stop a Taliban tank? A: Shoot the guy pushing it!

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
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One Year Ago
	Montana State Trooper Some drunks get all the good stories! ... 05.03.2007 Hey Buddy, Are You Stoned? OCTOBER 11--The mother of a two-year-old Wisconsin ... 04.26.2007 Top 10 April Fool's Pranks From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history. 04.01.2007 Robbing The Cradle On Credit (Old Lady Really Gets It) An 84-year-old woman who confessed to having sex with an 11-year-old boy in her foster care reached a deal with prosecutors and pleaded ... 03.17.2007

Two Years Ago
	Hair-Raising Beethoven Piece Beethoven composed many enduring symphonies, but now ... 05.15.2006 This Explains A Lot More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday. 05.13.2006 Model's Blonde Moment A supermodel fell out of a coach travelling at 50mph after mistaking an exit door for a toilet door ... 05.12.2006 Foot Fetish Freak Finally Caught A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years ... 05.11.2006

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	Goofball Facts
	Armadillos have four babies at a time - always identical quadruplets of the same sex.