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Assorted Goofiness
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	George W. Bush
	"There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me."-On the coming Social Security crisis; Wilton, Conn.; June 9, 2000

	Random Quote
	"It's basically the same, just darker." — Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons (1991)

	Snapple Facts
	#87 A mile on the ocean and a mile on land are not the same distance.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

	One Liners
	Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have? A: Palm Sunday

Most Recent
	Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ... 09.29.2008 Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ... 09.01.2008 Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. 08.09.2008 Brothel Offers Customers Gas Rebate Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas. 08.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ... 06.25.2007 Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ... 06.24.2007 Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ... 06.23.2007 Man Arrested For Driving Golf Cart Drunk In the spirit of golf season ... I was actually surprised that this wasn't Roger. 06.04.2007

Two Years Ago
	Sex Gadget Gets Man in Trouble at Airport Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey. 09.03.2006 Woman Crashes While Teaching Dog to Drive A woman in Hohhot Beijing, the capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson. 09.02.2006 Teattime Love Bite Was this the only way she was able to get him to make ... 07.27.2006 Kids' Show Host Fired Over 'Technical Virgin' Video The PBS Kids Sprout network has fired the host of "The Good Night Show" after learning she had appeared in videos called "Technical Virgin." 07.25.2006

Lookie Here!
	Monty Python and the Holy Grail

	Goofball Facts
	The longest worm known, Lineus longissimus, has been reported to exceed 150 feet in length.