Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations." -George W. Bush, in remarks to the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 national champions, May 31, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
— Mae West
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#3 Beavers can hold their breathe for 45 minutes under water.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: How can you tell if a man is well-hung?
A: When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
 
 


Vigilante Granny

By: AnonymousPublished: 07/27/2000
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

March 2000, Melbourne, Australia -- Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down -- and shot their testicles off! "The old lady spent a week hunting those bums down -- and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way," said admiring Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp. "Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be: 'Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.'

Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the seedy hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. "The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way he used to," Detective Delp told reporters. "Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through."

The Rambo Granny swung into action after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. "When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself 'cause I figured the police would go easy on them," recalled the retired library worker. "And I wasn't scared of them, either -- because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' it all my life." So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos' car, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

"I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them," the ornery oldster recalled. "So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door -- and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot 'em; got right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in."

Now, baffled lawmen are tying to figure out how to deal with the vigilante granny. "What she did was wrong, but you can't really throw an 81-year-old woman in prison." Det. Delp said, "especially when all 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for sainthood."

March 2000, Melbourne, Australia -- Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down -- and shot their testicles off! "The old lady spent a week hunting those bums down -- and when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way," said admiring Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp. "Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be: "Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God."

Cops say convicted rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the seedy hotel room where he and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. "The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way he used to," Detective Delp told reporters. "Both men are still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through."

The Rambo Granny swung into action after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row.

"When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself 'cause I figured the police would go easy on them," recalled the retired library worker. "And I wasn't scared of them, either -- because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' it all my life."

So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos' car, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

"I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them," the ornery oldster recalled. "So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door -- and the minute the big one, Furth, opened the door, I shot 'em; got right square between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in."

Now, baffled lawmen are tying to figure out how to deal with the vigilante granny. "What she did was wrong, but you can't really throw an 81-year-old woman in prison." Det. Delp said, "especially when all 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for sainthood."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Free Dating Tips For Men
Related Links
  • Granny Video
  • DarwinAwards: Gun-Totin' Granny
  • Teknolgy Fer Contry Folks
  • One fingered wave
  • The New Viz Profanisauraus 2000
  • After all these years
  • Top ten signs your grandparents are still sexually active:
  • Top ten signs your grandparents are still sexually active:
  • Top ten signs your grandparents are still sexually active:

  • More Stupid News...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    good stuff (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (11.17.2000 11:50:33 PM EST)

    this should be the punishment for all rapists, don't send them to jail, just blow everything off. May I suggest dynomite?

    Hell Yeah (0 replies)
    started by chanor51
    (08.04.2000 11:32:41 PM EST)

    Rock on Granny, and to all you rapers out there ill see you in jail getting ass raped yourself.

    FUCKING YEAAAAAAA!!!!!! (0 replies)
    started by hardball
    (07.28.2000 9:56:58 AM EST)

    This is not a true story ,but if it was I would say that is the best form of reabilation I have ever read about.FUCK YOU LIBERALS WE NEED GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.

    Bogus (0 replies)
    started by RichardCranium
    (07.27.2000 10:39:15 PM EST)

    This was in Darwinsaward.com. As an uban legend. The police in Melbourne replied that there is no detective by that name and they were unaware of this happening.

    Richard Cranium

    nice story (0 replies)
    started by Albatros
    (07.27.2000 3:27:40 PM EST)

    yep, guns are illegal, and thats pretty bad that after the one guy got his balls blown off that the other didnt do anyhting and just sat there and got his nads shredded too, i mean, run dude. she's old
    and the story was good, but u didnt have to post it twice



    This place is FUBAR!

    FUCKING CRAP! (0 replies)
    started by NudeForSatan
    (07.27.2000 3:19:28 PM EST)

    What total and utter fucking crap! Crusty 81 year old grandmothers in downtown sunny Melbourne, Australia don't own 9mm handguns because they're fucking illegal unless you're issued a special permit ie. police, security, gun club member. The Australian government also banned all automatic and semi-automatic weapons in response to the actions of a psycho fruitcake named Martin Bryant, who shot 35 people dead at Port Arthur, Tasmania in 1996. The worlds worst peace-time massacre by a single gunman on record.

    OUTSTANDING (0 replies)
    started by PSEbowhunter
    (07.27.2000 5:44:06 AM EST)

    and all of these stupid ass liberals want to take our guns away. Great job granny!!!

    Great story... (0 replies)
    started by OliverClozoff
    (07.27.2000 1:23:52 AM EST)

    ...if it were true. All privately owned handguns in Australia were confiscated and destroyed. BTW, the original source for this story was that bastion of truth, /The Weekly World News/.



    Fellow, American Association of Amateur Gynocologists.

    kick ass (0 replies)
    started by hippie27
    (07.27.2000 0:24:31 AM EST)

    a grandma with a gun is pretty cool if you ask me. go grandma go

    Hooray for Granny (0 replies)  
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (07.27.2000 0:16:11 AM EST)

    The rest of the worls should deal with things the way you did. Hopefully, it won't take 100 years for society to figure out that we don't really need pieces of shit like that in this world. God Bless You!!!!!!

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust
    On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ...
    05.10.2008

    Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone
    BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ...
    04.18.2008

    Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation
    MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ...
    04.09.2008

    You Think You Got A Painful Job?
    If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ...
    04.08.2008

    Rate This!

    3.29 Goofballs of 5
    83 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Montana State Trooper
    Some drunks get all the good stories! ...
    05.03.2007

    Hey Buddy, Are You Stoned?
    OCTOBER 11--The mother of a two-year-old Wisconsin ...
    04.26.2007

    Top 10 April Fool's Pranks
    From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history.
    04.01.2007

    Robbing The Cradle On Credit (Old Lady Really Gets It)
    An 84-year-old woman who confessed to having sex with an 11-year-old boy in her foster care reached a deal with prosecutors and pleaded ...
    03.17.2007

    Two Years Ago
    Hair-Raising Beethoven Piece
    Beethoven composed many enduring symphonies, but now ...
    05.15.2006

    This Explains A Lot
    More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday.
    05.13.2006

    Model's Blonde Moment
    A supermodel fell out of a coach travelling at 50mph after mistaking an exit door for a toilet door ...
    05.12.2006

    Foot Fetish Freak Finally Caught
    A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years ...
    05.11.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Al Franken : Why Not Me?

    Goofball Facts
     
    Blue eyes are the most sensitive to light, brown eyes the least sensitive!