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	George W. Bush
	"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." - Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

	Random Quote
	"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, Idon't know and I don't care.'" — Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

	Snapple Facts
	#126 A pigeon's feathers are heavier than its bones.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so poor you go out for Sunday pushes of the skateboard

	One Liners
	Q: Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ... 06.25.2007 Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ... 06.24.2007 Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ... 06.23.2007 Man Arrested For Driving Golf Cart Drunk In the spirit of golf season ... I was actually surprised that this wasn't Roger. 06.04.2007

Two Years Ago
	And Why the Hell Do They Need Uniforms? Dennis FitzSimons, the chief executive of the company that owns the Chicago Cubs, said today that staff reductions would be needed to bring costs in line with other properties in the Tribune Co. portfolio. 07.19.2006 Aussie Woman Swallows 320 Condoms Full Of Drugs A woman who police allege ... 06.29.2006 Lightning Kills Motorcyclist A motorcyclist died after he was struck by lightning while riding in rush hour traffic between Denver and Boulder ... 06.22.2006 Snake Fails To Show Up For Wedding ... Honestly A woman who fell in love with a snake has reportedly married the reptile at a traditional Hindu wedding celebrated by 2,000 guests in India's Orissa state. 06.08.2006

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	Completely Mad!

	Goofball Facts
	Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.