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	George W. Bush
	"The senator [McCain] has got to understand if he's going to have - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road." - To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000

	Random Quote
	"Half this game is ninety percent mental." — Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

	Snapple Facts
	#136 Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so nasty she gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!

	One Liners
	Q: What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian? A: One's a snack cracker.

Most Recent
	Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ... 09.01.2008 Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. 08.09.2008 Brothel Offers Customers Gas Rebate Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas. 08.08.2008 Naked Man Arrested After Hijacking Las Vegas Bus Maybe he lost his shirt at a casino. Police in Las Vegas say they arrested a naked man who stole a beer and then hijacked a bus several miles northeast of the Strip ... 08.07.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ... 06.25.2007 Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ... 06.24.2007 Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ... 06.23.2007 Man Arrested For Driving Golf Cart Drunk In the spirit of golf season ... I was actually surprised that this wasn't Roger. 06.04.2007

Two Years Ago
	Sex Gadget Gets Man in Trouble at Airport Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey. 09.03.2006 Woman Crashes While Teaching Dog to Drive A woman in Hohhot Beijing, the capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson. 09.02.2006 Teattime Love Bite Was this the only way she was able to get him to make ... 07.27.2006 Kids' Show Host Fired Over 'Technical Virgin' Video The PBS Kids Sprout network has fired the host of "The Good Night Show" after learning she had appeared in videos called "Technical Virgin." 07.25.2006

Lookie Here!
	The New Yorker 75th Anniversary Cartoon Collection

	Goofball Facts
	A penguin only has sex twice a year.