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	George W. Bush
	"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

	Random Quote
	"Guys aren't albe to get $15 or $20 million [a year] anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game." — Orlando Magic star Penny Hardaway, bemoaning the NBA's new salary cap

	Snapple Facts
	#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

	One Liners
	Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck.

Most Recent
	Police Arrest Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex Police say a Michigan man ... 11.10.2008 Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ... 09.29.2008 Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ... 09.01.2008 Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. 08.09.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Big Winner to Become Big Loser The winner of a $1 million lottery scratch ticket may not be so lucky after all: He's a convicted bank robber who isn't supposed to gamble. Timothy Elliott faces a Dec. 7 court hearing over whether he violated his probation when he bought the $10 ticket for the $800 Million Spectacular game at a supermarket in Hyannis. 11.29.2007 Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." 11.19.2007 Homeless Man Dresses In Women’s Underwear, Takes Snooze At Store Joplin, Mo- Employees of Kohl’s department store in ... 11.18.2007 Thank You Science Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ... 11.03.2007

Two Years Ago
	PS3's Are Too Big We all know that Playstation 3 is out and getting ... 11.23.2006 Califoria Couple Calls For Orgasm For Peace Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home. 11.22.2006 Brit Burns Bum With Firecracker A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries ... 11.10.2006 Burglar Robs Surveillance Camera Store In the long and noble history of the world's most ... 11.07.2006

Lookie Here!
	Our Dumb Century

	Goofball Facts
	Brad Pitt chipped his tooth during the filming of Fight Club, but waited till shooting was finished to have it capped because he felt it added to his character.