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	George W. Bush
	"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be - a literate country and a hopefuller country." - Washington, D.C., Jan. 11, 2001

	Random Quote
	"Mullin, wearing the crew cut and the dribble..." — Al Trautwig, doing a play-by-play of a Knicks-Pacers game

	Snapple Facts
	#71 There is a town called "Big Ugly" in West Virginia.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

	One Liners
	Q. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? A. Quatro sinko.

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Montana State Trooper Some drunks get all the good stories! ... 05.03.2007 Hey Buddy, Are You Stoned? OCTOBER 11--The mother of a two-year-old Wisconsin ... 04.26.2007 Top 10 April Fool's Pranks From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history. 04.01.2007 Robbing The Cradle On Credit (Old Lady Really Gets It) An 84-year-old woman who confessed to having sex with an 11-year-old boy in her foster care reached a deal with prosecutors and pleaded ... 03.17.2007

Two Years Ago
	Model's Blonde Moment A supermodel fell out of a coach travelling at 50mph after mistaking an exit door for a toilet door ... 05.12.2006 Foot Fetish Freak Finally Caught A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years ... 05.11.2006 Hey, What's That You Are Drinking? Hungarian builders who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel ... 05.05.2006 Woman Jailed For Leaving Kids To Go See Springer A woman got a 30-day jail sentence for leaving her three young children home alone for several hours, while she and her boyfriend attended a videotaping of "The Jerry Springer Show." 04.22.2006

Lookie Here!
	The Solo Joke Book

	Goofball Facts
	William Howard Taft was the second president to own a car. He was too fat to drive it.