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	George W. Bush
	"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."-Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

	Random Quote
	"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." — Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/22/90

	Snapple Facts
	#101 About half of all Americans are on a diet at any given time.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Is sorry, no professionals."

	One Liners
	Q. What's the difference between the Queen Mum and Dudley Moore? A. Three Days

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Montana State Trooper Some drunks get all the good stories! ... 05.03.2007 Hey Buddy, Are You Stoned? OCTOBER 11--The mother of a two-year-old Wisconsin ... 04.26.2007 Top 10 April Fool's Pranks From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history. 04.01.2007 Robbing The Cradle On Credit (Old Lady Really Gets It) An 84-year-old woman who confessed to having sex with an 11-year-old boy in her foster care reached a deal with prosecutors and pleaded ... 03.17.2007

Two Years Ago
	Hair-Raising Beethoven Piece Beethoven composed many enduring symphonies, but now ... 05.15.2006 This Explains A Lot More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday. 05.13.2006 Model's Blonde Moment A supermodel fell out of a coach travelling at 50mph after mistaking an exit door for a toilet door ... 05.12.2006 Foot Fetish Freak Finally Caught A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years ... 05.11.2006

Lookie Here!
	The New Yorker 75th Anniversary Cartoon Collection

	Goofball Facts
	If a Lobster loses an eye, it will grow another one.