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	George W. Bush
	"There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country." Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at 'Simon for Governor' Luncheon," Aug. 23, 2002

	Random Quote
	"My girlfriend asked me if I slept well. I said no, I made a couple mistakes." — Steven Wright, Comedian

	Snapple Facts
	#201 The only one-syllabled U.S. state is Maine.

	Yo Mama ...
	so ugly she could gag a maggot on a gutwagon.

	One Liners
	Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Montana State Trooper Some drunks get all the good stories! ... 05.03.2007 Hey Buddy, Are You Stoned? OCTOBER 11--The mother of a two-year-old Wisconsin ... 04.26.2007 Top 10 April Fool's Pranks From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history. 04.01.2007 Robbing The Cradle On Credit (Old Lady Really Gets It) An 84-year-old woman who confessed to having sex with an 11-year-old boy in her foster care reached a deal with prosecutors and pleaded ... 03.17.2007

Two Years Ago
	Hair-Raising Beethoven Piece Beethoven composed many enduring symphonies, but now ... 05.15.2006 This Explains A Lot More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday. 05.13.2006 Model's Blonde Moment A supermodel fell out of a coach travelling at 50mph after mistaking an exit door for a toilet door ... 05.12.2006 Foot Fetish Freak Finally Caught A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years ... 05.11.2006

Lookie Here!
	The Spy Who Shagged Me

	Goofball Facts
	The foundations of the great European cathedrals go down as far as forty or fifty feet. In some instances, they form a mass of stone as great as that of the visible building above the ground.