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	George W. Bush
	"We are in the process of helping them implement a strategy which is was described to us in Aqaba as to how the Palestinian Authority want to reconstitute a security force in order to make sure the terrorists, the haters of peace, those who can't stand freedom do not have their way in the Middle East." —Bush, on smoothing some of the bumps in the road to peace in the Middle East Source: The White House, "President Believes Peace in Middle East is Achievable: Remarks by the President to the Travel Pool," June 15, 2003

	Random Quote
	"I have an answering machine in my car. It says "I'm home now. But leave amessage and I'll call when I'm out."" — Steven Wright, Comedian

	Snapple Facts
	#215 Tennessee banned the use of a lasso to catch fish.

	Yo Mama ...
	so ugly she walked past a mirror and it exploded.

	One Liners
	Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Montana State Trooper Some drunks get all the good stories! ... 05.03.2007 Hey Buddy, Are You Stoned? OCTOBER 11--The mother of a two-year-old Wisconsin ... 04.26.2007 Top 10 April Fool's Pranks From television revealing that spaghetti grows on trees to advertisements for the left-handed burger, the tradition of April Fool's Day stories in the media has a weird and wonderful history. 04.01.2007 Robbing The Cradle On Credit (Old Lady Really Gets It) An 84-year-old woman who confessed to having sex with an 11-year-old boy in her foster care reached a deal with prosecutors and pleaded ... 03.17.2007

Two Years Ago
	Hair-Raising Beethoven Piece Beethoven composed many enduring symphonies, but now ... 05.15.2006 This Explains A Lot More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday. 05.13.2006 Model's Blonde Moment A supermodel fell out of a coach travelling at 50mph after mistaking an exit door for a toilet door ... 05.12.2006 Foot Fetish Freak Finally Caught A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years ... 05.11.2006

Lookie Here!
	Always postpone meetings with time wasting morons

	Goofball Facts
	At McDonalds in New Zealand, they serve apricot pies instead of cherry ones.