Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I would have to ask the questioner. I haven't had a chance to ask the questioners the question they've been questioning. On the other hand, I firmly believe she'll be a fine secretary of labor. And I've got confidence in Linda Chavez. She is a - she'll bring an interesting perspective to the Labor Department." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"Permitted Vehicles Not Allowed"
— temporary road sign on side of US 27
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#72 The average person uses 150 gallons of water per day for personal use.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.
 
 


Italian Sausage Assaulted

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 07/10/2003
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

MILWAUKEE -- Pirates first baseman Randall Simon was arrested last night (July 9, 2003) after the Pirates' game against Milwaukee and faces a possible battery charge this morning.

During the famed "Sausage Race" after the sixth inning, Simon swung a bat at one of the costumed participants, hitting a 19-year-old girl. (See Clip Below) She fell near the Pirates' dugout and another participant, a 21-year-old girl, tripped over her. Both girls were sent to the stadium First Aid station and treated for scrapped knees.

Milwaukee County sheriff's deputies reviewed tape of the incident and interrogated Simon at the stadium before transporting him in handcuffs to the Milwaukee County Jail, where he was expected to be booked and released early this morning. Simon is to appear before a district attorney this morning.

Simon pinch-hit for starter Kris Benson in the seventh inning.

"I'm aware of the situation, but at this time I can't comment until I get further information," said Dave Littlefield, the Pirates' general manager.

Larry Silverman, legal counsel for the Pirates, was informed of the incident by Rick Schlesinger, the Brewers' executive vice-president for business operations.

"This is in no way a reflection on the Pirates," Schlesinger said. "It's an insane act of a person whose conduct is unjustifiable. Larry [Silverman] is as shocked and distressed as I am. It sickened me to see it.

"I can't put into words the anger I feel and the sense of outrage I have. We've had the sausage race every day for years and never had something like this happen."

Size:1.91 MB
Type:Real Networks
Download:

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Baseball Bat
  • Bat with Bat and Two Balls
  • Sponsor a Baseball Player
  • Woman Hit By Baseball Gets Millions
  • Bat Attacks Prompt Quarantine Alert
  • Baseball Fan Gets Whacked With Frozen Pork Product
  • Brew-Loving Bat Trapped in Beer Bottle
  • Baseball Fan
  • Baseball Pun
  • Britney's Baseball Team
  • Boobs And Baseball
  • She Loves Baseball
  • Major League Baseball
  • More Fan Mail
  • Stealing More Than Bases
  • Darryl Does It Again
  • Darryl Strawberry
  • Plan for Peace
  • Ken Caminiti
  • Ted Williams' Kin Fight Over Body

  • More Stupid News...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    He should of know better... (0 replies)
    started by proverbialchump
    (07.12.2003 9:11:17 AM EST)

    then to whack the wiener in public.

    Ah crap (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (07.11.2003 12:35:47 PM EST)

    I've been wanting to see this but it would take me 2 days to download it here. From what I hear Randall must have gotten bored with grabbing his crotch and escalated it to out-and-out sausage assault.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    WOW (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (07.11.2003 3:15:33 AM EST)


    When I first read the title I thought someone had kicked Sylvester Stallone in the groin.

    This reminds me... I need a battery charge in the morning too, my car wouldn't crank today.

    Good one Rob

    I've been charged.... (1 reply)
    started by willi
    (07.10.2003 8:41:25 PM EST)

    mutiple times for beating my ball park frank. If Randall's lucky, he'll get off just like I do every time.

    Thanks! (0 replies)  
    started by beo469
    (07.10.2003 7:18:11 PM EST)

    I've been trying to se this on espn.com all day, but it wouldn't play. Thanks for making this available for download in such a timely fashion!

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust
    On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ...
    05.10.2008

    Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone
    BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ...
    04.18.2008

    Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation
    MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ...
    04.09.2008

    You Think You Got A Painful Job?
    If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ...
    04.08.2008

    Rate This!

    3.93 Goofballs of 5
    14 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown
    McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ...
    06.25.2007

    Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers
    OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ...
    06.24.2007

    Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag
    WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ...
    06.23.2007

    Man Arrested For Driving Golf Cart Drunk
    In the spirit of golf season ... I was actually surprised that this wasn't Roger.
    06.04.2007

    Two Years Ago
    And Why the Hell Do They Need Uniforms?
    Dennis FitzSimons, the chief executive of the company that owns the Chicago Cubs, said today that staff reductions would be needed to bring costs in line with other properties in the Tribune Co. portfolio.
    07.19.2006

    Aussie Woman Swallows 320 Condoms Full Of Drugs
    A woman who police allege ...
    06.29.2006

    Lightning Kills Motorcyclist
    A motorcyclist died after he was struck by lightning while riding in rush hour traffic between Denver and Boulder ...
    06.22.2006

    Snake Fails To Show Up For Wedding ... Honestly
    A woman who fell in love with a snake has reportedly married the reptile at a traditional Hindu wedding celebrated by 2,000 guests in India's Orissa state.
    06.08.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Top Comedy Movies

    Goofball Facts
     
    The world population of termites outweighs that of humans by ten to one.