"I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike...I believe weought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society...And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."-Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999
Random Quote
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." — Tom Waits
Snapple Facts
#114 The oldest known animal was a tortoise and lived to be 152 years old.
Yo Mama ...
is so ugly doctors hire her to stand outside their offices to make people sick.
One Liners
Q: How do you know when you're REALLY ugly? A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
A "tourist", supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official asked the man what his handicap was. The man asked "what's
a handicap?"
The officer thought it odd that the golfer didn't know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. When he demostrated his swing, he did it
backwards
.
A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag and the man was arrested immediately.
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