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	George W. Bush
	"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor - the president - governor - president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him - get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq - and at that same - right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States - a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen." - Washington, D.C., Jan. 9, 2004

	Random Quote
	"Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone." — Jan King

	Snapple Facts
	#40 It is possible to lead a cow up stairs but not down.

	Yo Mama ...
	... is so fat, When she runs, she makes the CD player skip... is so fat, at the radio station!

	One Liners
	Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A: A different bar.

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ... 06.25.2007 Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ... 06.24.2007 Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ... 06.23.2007 Man Arrested For Driving Golf Cart Drunk In the spirit of golf season ... I was actually surprised that this wasn't Roger. 06.04.2007

Two Years Ago
	And Why the Hell Do They Need Uniforms? Dennis FitzSimons, the chief executive of the company that owns the Chicago Cubs, said today that staff reductions would be needed to bring costs in line with other properties in the Tribune Co. portfolio. 07.19.2006 Aussie Woman Swallows 320 Condoms Full Of Drugs A woman who police allege ... 06.29.2006 Lightning Kills Motorcyclist A motorcyclist died after he was struck by lightning while riding in rush hour traffic between Denver and Boulder ... 06.22.2006 Snake Fails To Show Up For Wedding ... Honestly A woman who fell in love with a snake has reportedly married the reptile at a traditional Hindu wedding celebrated by 2,000 guests in India's Orissa state. 06.08.2006

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	Austin Powers: International Man of...

	Goofball Facts
	Each day, more than $40 Trillion changes hands worldwide!