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	George W. Bush
	"I think we're making progress. We understand where the power of this country lay. It lays in the hearts and souls of Americans. It must lay in our pocketbooks. It lays in the willingness for people to work hard. But as importantly, it lays in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor. I want to make somebody's life just a little bit better." -George W. Bush, April 11, 2001

	Random Quote
	"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." — Roseanne

	Snapple Facts
	#10 Mosquitos are attracted to people who just ate bananas.

	Yo Mama ...
	... is so fat, When she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

	One Liners
	Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Most Recent
	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ... 06.25.2007 Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ... 06.24.2007 Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ... 06.23.2007 Man Arrested For Driving Golf Cart Drunk In the spirit of golf season ... I was actually surprised that this wasn't Roger. 06.04.2007

Two Years Ago
	Aussie Woman Swallows 320 Condoms Full Of Drugs A woman who police allege ... 06.29.2006 Lightning Kills Motorcyclist A motorcyclist died after he was struck by lightning while riding in rush hour traffic between Denver and Boulder ... 06.22.2006 Snake Fails To Show Up For Wedding ... Honestly A woman who fell in love with a snake has reportedly married the reptile at a traditional Hindu wedding celebrated by 2,000 guests in India's Orissa state. 06.08.2006 Storm In A D-cup As Bust Sizes Grow In China Bra producers have been forced to offer bigger cup-sizes in China because improved nutrition is busting all previous chest measurement records. 06.07.2006

Lookie Here!
	Our Dumb Century

	Goofball Facts
	The creator of the Waffle Iron did not actually like waffles.