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George W. Bush
 
"The solid truth of the matter is, when you find—if you want to help heal the hurt, if you want to you hurt people—help people in pain, the best way to do so is to call upon the great strength of the country, which is the compassion of our fellow Americans."Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks," Nov. 4, 2002
 
 

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"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
— George Carlin, Comedian
 
 

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#226 13 percent of the world's tea comes from Kenya.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly when she goes to the beach the tide won't come in!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What's the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
A: "They'll never see you coming."
 
 


Death of the Doughboy

By: JimmyfromQueensPublished: 09/01/1999
 
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Doughboy Dead at 71...

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including: Mrs.Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and the Hostess Twinkies. The gravesite was piled high with flours and longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, squandering much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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AWWWWW! (0 replies)
started by sokmonkey1
(04.12.2002 11:26:04 PM EST)

TO CUTE!

does it matter? (0 replies)  
started by undertkr
(02.11.2001 10:18:04 PM EST)

damn i'm first!!!!!!!



the south will rise

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    Goofball Facts
     
    Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a week day at 5 pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize *this* was the day of the changeover. In left hand drive countries, such as the UK, Ireland, Japan, and Australia, drivers sit on the righthand side of the car. Except for Sweden, where drivers sat on the left, as in North-America.