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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"The fundamental question is, 'Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, it's going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll be more effective."-In Wayne, Mich., as quoted in the New York Times, June 28, 2000
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Random Quote |
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"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
— New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season
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Snapple Facts |
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#84 Oysters can change genders back and forth.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so stupid she got hit by a parked car!
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One Liners |
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Q: How do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
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 A Look Back at '98s Stupid Criminals | | By: Jskills | Published: 01/08/1999 | | |  |
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Man tests positive for pregnancy
Twenty-year-old John Issa had to meet with probation officers and submit a urine sample before being sentenced for stealing Christmas gifts off doorsteps. He raised more than just an eyebrow
when the urine test came back positive for pregnancy. Turns out Issa is a normal male, but his wife, the true donor of the urine is pregnant. Issa was ordered to produce a second sample which tested positive for the presence of cocaine.
Woman gives birth on Internet, is identified as criminal
Elizabeth Ann Oliver, hungry for fame popped out a child on the Internet but didn?t think that others might recognize her as the major bad check writer who ripped off dozens of shopkeepers.
Fugitive applies for police job
A Nevada fugitive wanted on fraud charges was arrested when he applied to become a town police officer Connecticut. Alexander Ocasio, of Las Vegas, was arrested after the standard background check for applicants to the police force turned up his fugitive warrant. Police called Ocasio in to get his fingerprints, saying it was part of the job application. Said Matthew Dushoff, a Nevada deputy attorney general, "It's one of the dumbest things he could have done. We
never would have
found him otherwise, and he walked right into it." That's not terribly encouraging as there aren?t too many fugitives from the law are lining up for law enforcement jobs.
Police chase robber in chicken suit
Swedish police pursued a man who tried to rob a post office dressed in a chicken suit. The robber, disguised in a yellow chicken outfit, failed to steal any money from the post office but did seriously upset a female cashier.
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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Male capuchin monkeys greet one another by showing off their erections.
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