In an assault that has prosecutors frantically researching the definition of 'blunt instrument', a police officer in Milwaukee was attacked with a colostomy bag on Tuesday.
Colostomy bags, for those not familiar with medical paraphernalia, are bags used to collect the fecal matter that leaves the body after a colostomy operation, which involves routing the colon through a hole in the abdomen so that the recipient can defecate out of a hole in their stomach.
The alleged assault with a smelly weapon, occurred when the officer was responding to a report of truancy in the Grand Avenue Mall on Tuesday afternoon. The officer found the teenager in question, and asked for his name and age. The surly teen wouldn't answer.
While the officer continued to question him, the teenager became more and more disruptive and in the end, the kid decided that the wisest course of action would be to throw his colostomy bag at the officer.
It has been confirmed that the bag did indeed contain bodily waste at the time.
A spokeswoman for the Milwaukee police said that they were treating the poo-flinging incident as 'injury to an officer', because of the possible harm that could result from fecal contamination.
