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	George W. Bush
	"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."-U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

	Random Quote
	"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." — Benjamin Franklin

	Snapple Facts
	#117 The starfish is the only animal that can turn its stomach inside out.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

	One Liners
	Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? A: Her navel.

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	S.t. Patrick's Day Drug Bust On St. Patrick's Day, Ohio cops seized crack ... 05.10.2008 Man Convicted Of Sending Penis Photo By Phone BERLIN- A 21-year-old German man has been convicted ... 04.18.2008 Toe-licking Robber Gets Probation MINNEAPOLIS - A man who robbed a woman of her keys ... 04.09.2008 You Think You Got A Painful Job? If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job ... 04.08.2008

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Section Features
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One Year Ago
	Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ... 06.25.2007 Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ... 06.24.2007 Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ... 06.23.2007 Man Arrested For Driving Golf Cart Drunk In the spirit of golf season ... I was actually surprised that this wasn't Roger. 06.04.2007

Two Years Ago
	And Why the Hell Do They Need Uniforms? Dennis FitzSimons, the chief executive of the company that owns the Chicago Cubs, said today that staff reductions would be needed to bring costs in line with other properties in the Tribune Co. portfolio. 07.19.2006 Aussie Woman Swallows 320 Condoms Full Of Drugs A woman who police allege ... 06.29.2006 Lightning Kills Motorcyclist A motorcyclist died after he was struck by lightning while riding in rush hour traffic between Denver and Boulder ... 06.22.2006 Snake Fails To Show Up For Wedding ... Honestly A woman who fell in love with a snake has reportedly married the reptile at a traditional Hindu wedding celebrated by 2,000 guests in India's Orissa state. 06.08.2006

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	Goofball Facts
	The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows.