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	George W. Bush
	"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Signs 911 Commission Bill," Nov. 27, 2002

	Random Quote
	"He wants Texas back." — Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, asked what terms Mexican - born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations. (1981)

	Snapple Facts
	#155 In 1926, the first outdoor mini-golf courses were built on rooftops in NYC.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.

	One Liners
	Q: Did you hear Bill Clinton got a new job in Washington, DC? A: Hillary hired him to open her mail!

Most Recent
	Want to Touch My Monkeys A man with a mysterious bulge under his T-shirt was stopped, searched and detained at Mexico City's international airport after authorities found 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle he was wearing ... 08.02.2010 Woman Says Bowel Caused Alleged Shoplifting A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome ... 08.01.2010 Sexing and Driving Authorities say a New Jersey woman told them she was carjacked to cover up the fact that her car crashed because she was having sex ... 07.31.2010 Seattle Man Charged In Bizarre Duck Case A Seattle man has been charged with a slew of crimes that involved an alleged shoplifting, assaults and a pet duck named Mr. Peepers ... 07.30.2010

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Family Axes Wedding Plans, Egyptian Cuts Off Organ A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own ... 09.08.2009 Man Could Face Dog-sex Charges Wichita, Kansas - A 43-year-old man faces criminal ... 09.07.2009 Man 'driving Commando' Pulled Over For Speeding RISING SUN, Md. – A Delaware man who claimed he lost ... 08.31.2009 Man Went Naked To Dental Appointment Police say a Connecticut man has ... 08.30.2009

Two Years Ago
	Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ... 09.01.2008 Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. 08.09.2008 Brothel Offers Customers Gas Rebate Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas. 08.08.2008 Naked Man Arrested After Hijacking Las Vegas Bus Maybe he lost his shirt at a casino. Police in Las Vegas say they arrested a naked man who stole a beer and then hijacked a bus several miles northeast of the Strip ... 08.07.2008

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	Top Comedy Movies

	Goofball Facts
	Kiwi birds are blind, they hunt by smell.