"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have...he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."-To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000
Random Quote
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." — Vice President Dan Quayle
Snapple Facts
#99 You burn 20 calories an hour chewing gum.
Yo Mama ...
is so stupid she told me to meet her at the corner of walk and don't walk
One Liners
Q. What do Princess Di and the Queen Mum have in common? A. They both died pushing 102
BERLIN - The wall came down, but East Germany is haunted by the ghost of oppression past. Tenants from an eastern apartment block have been banned from urinating while in a standing position. Landlords complained that misdirected urine is causing their radiators to rust, but the men of Radenburg are not sitting for this. Cemetery worker Juergen Galler responded, I´m not going to let anybody tell me how I take care of business. I´m going to keep on standing. Techniques for enforcing the ban might be tricky, but according to the daily Bild the landlords are quite serious.
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Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison.
10.28.2009
Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
09.29.2008
Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
08.09.2008
Two Years Ago
Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
11.19.2007
Thank You Science Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
11.03.2007
I smell like a hippy in this outfit......
