"I'm the master of low expectations." - Aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003
Random Quote
"Reports are sketchy, but we have heard that in the first heart transplant operation in Belgium, both patient and donor are doing fine" radio news announcer
Snapple Facts
#58 A sneeze travels out of your nose at 100mph.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
One Liners
Q. What do you call a bouncer in a gay bar? A. A flame thrower.
LAS CRUCES, New Mexico - Bill Soules, the principal of an elementary school in New Mexico, pondered his school´s attendance problems. He realized not all of the 527 were present at the same time. In an effort to make sure all enrolled students would come to school on the same day, he devised a dramatic, unusual plan. He announced to the school that if no one played hooky, faked sickness, etc., then he would swallow 12 worms. Apparently the stunt worked because all the students showed up on the designated day. And behold, Soules downed a dozen worms!
My principal ate worms and no won even dared him to do it.
The Naked Canuck Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
OK
(0 replies)
  started by
tjshere
(10.20.2001 0:15:19 AM EST)
Seems to me like his job would be a lot easier if fewer kids showed up, but whatever floats your boat.
They have awakened a sleeping giant. Vengeance will be ours!
Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.
Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison.
10.28.2009
Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
09.29.2008
Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
08.09.2008
Two Years Ago
Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
11.19.2007
Thank You Science Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
11.03.2007