"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"-Explaining the need for educational accountability in Beaufort, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000
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"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." — Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/22/90
Snapple Facts
#101 About half of all Americans are on a diet at any given time.
Yo Mama ...
is so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
One Liners
Q. What's the difference between the Queen Mum and Dudley Moore? A. Three Days
COOKVILLE, Texas - This is no bull! A 34-year-old man was arrested after allegedly stealing several thousand dollars worth of bull semen from a cattle ranch near Cookville. According to police, Joey Allen Long threw some of the bull semen, contained in applicator straws, out the window, during the pursuit, then slowed down along Titus County Road SE 6 and jumped from the rolling vehicle to escape on foot. A tank of bull semen was found inside the vehicle and an artificial insemination kit was also recovered. Long was arrested near U.S. 67 after another foot chase, and taken into custody.
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