"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot). Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004
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"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly theprescription ran out." — Steven Wright, Comedian
Snapple Facts
#209 The largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1,061 lbs.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.
One Liners
Q: What's the height of conceit? A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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Don't you feel like
sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
BLUE SPRINGS, Mo. - A lovers' dispute over a cell phone ended suddenly when the woman swallowed the phone whole, police said.
Police said they received a call at 4:52 a.m. Friday from a Blue Springs man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. When they arrived at the house they found the 24-year-old woman had a cell phone lodged in her throat.
"He wanted the phone and she wouldn't give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it," Detective Sgt. Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. "She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn't get it."
Police said an ambulance transported the woman to St. Mary's Medical Center in Blue Springs. A hospital spokeswoman said she couldn't give details about the woman's health since police have not released her identity.
Who routinely declines giving oral because it's too uncomfortable.
uhmm
(0 replies)
started by
leadj
(02.02.2006 0:12:17 AM EST)
Let the blonde jokes begin
LMAOL
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