Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it." -George W. Bush, speaking to Catholic leaders at the White House, Jan. 31, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I've only scratched the iceberg."
— Andre Agassim in 1990, on his career
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#21 Almonds are part of the peach family.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. Why are hurricanes named after women?
A. Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car.
 
 


News Headlines for the Intellectually-Impaired

By: TheAdvisorPublished: 01/20/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

The following are REAL newspaper headlines from various US newspapers in 1995.

Malls try to attract shoppers
The Baltimore Sun, October 22

Official: Only rain will cure drought
The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts

Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
The SundayOregonian, September 24

Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
Newsday,July 11

Man shoots neighbor with machete
The Miami Herald, July 3

Tomatoes come in big, little,medium sizes
The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30

Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows
The New York Times, March 10

Man clings to life after fatal blast
Tucson Citizen, January 10

Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies
The Los Angeles Times, March 2

Scientists see quakes in L.A. future
The Oregonian, January 28

Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold
Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26

Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer
Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25

Economist uses theory to explain economy
Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8

Bible church's focus is the Bible
Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994

Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons
Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6

Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity
The Chicago Tribune, March 5

Chancellor Wants Students To Take Required Courses
The Banner Herald, Athens, Georgia, March 13

Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
Journal of Commerce, April 20

Dysfunctional families can have harmful effect on children
The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 1

Lack of brains hinders research
The Columbus Dispatch, April 16

How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart
Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5

Fish lurk in streams
Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Where Babies Come from
  • Autopsy conducted on 12-pound teen-age girl
  • Babies
  • Chyna's A Man Baby!
  • Baby Listings Pulled from Online Auction
  • Baby elephant trunk
  • Baby elephant trunk
  • Baby Bonnet Exhibitionist
  • Parents Stow Baby In Locker, Go To Dinner
  • Hey baby how about it.
  • Baby fight
  • Baby Powder Lesbians
  • Dancing Baby Hit By Car
  • Weenie baby
  • Weenie Baby
  • Burn Baby Burn
  • Clinton Baby Located
  • Blend em' up baby
  • Drunken Baby
  • Kick The Baby

  • More Stupid News...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    THE PRESS (0 replies)
    started by donut38
    (01.20.2001 0:08:19 AM EST)

    HAS A REMARKABLE VIEW OF THE OBVIOUS

    its true (0 replies)  
    started by tattoocouple
    (06.26.2000 5:58:51 PM EST)

    and the american public believes every word of it !!!

    duh is this for real ?

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years
    A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison.
    10.28.2009

    Nude Man Accused Of Pounding On Cars On A Highway
    A man who told officers he was a ...
    10.11.2009

    Naked Man Riding Motorcycle Charged With DUI
    OCALA, Fla. – Authorities say a Florida man was charged ...
    09.28.2009

    Family Axes Wedding Plans, Egyptian Cuts Off Organ
    A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own ...
    09.08.2009

    Rate This!

    3.45 Goofballs of 5
    226 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop
    A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
    09.29.2008

    Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines
    A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ...
    09.01.2008

    Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch
    St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
    08.09.2008

    Brothel Offers Customers Gas Rebate
    Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas.
    08.08.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Thank You Science
    Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
    11.03.2007

    Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown
    McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ...
    06.25.2007

    Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers
    OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ...
    06.24.2007

    Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag
    WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ...
    06.23.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    The total amount of NYC driver parking fines is $461 million.