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	George W. Bush
	"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"-Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New Hampshire, in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999

	Random Quote
	"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven." — Brian O'Rourke

	Snapple Facts
	#115 Bambo makes up 99% of a panda's diet.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

	One Liners
	Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? A: Because they have cotton balls.

Most Recent
	Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison. 10.28.2009 Nude Man Accused Of Pounding On Cars On A Highway A man who told officers he was a ... 10.11.2009 Naked Man Riding Motorcycle Charged With DUI OCALA, Fla. – Authorities say a Florida man was charged ... 09.28.2009 Family Axes Wedding Plans, Egyptian Cuts Off Organ A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own ... 09.08.2009

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ... 09.29.2008 Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ... 09.01.2008 Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. 08.09.2008 Brothel Offers Customers Gas Rebate Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas. 08.08.2008

Two Years Ago
	Thank You Science Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ... 11.03.2007 Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ... 06.25.2007 Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ... 06.24.2007 Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ... 06.23.2007

Lookie Here!
	The Solo Joke Book

	Casino Joke
	I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!

	Goofball Facts
	Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.