Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work."60 Minutes II, Dec. 5, 2000
 
 

Random Quote
 
"Pitching is 80 percent of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
— baseball player Mickey Rivers
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#79 There are 119 grooves on the edge of a quarter.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What is the difference between a harley and a hoover?
A. The location of the dirt bag.
 
 


Charges Dropped Against What's His Name

By: PhantomPublished: 08/04/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

OTTAWA (Reuters)
John Warnock, or Clarence Joyce Jr., or Wayne Hutchings -- or whoever he is -- was still in jail Thursday after criminal charges against him were dropped because figuring out his real identity proved too difficult.

The man with too many names -- charged as Randolph Stitt with four counts of possessing a stolen credit card and one count of obstructing police -- was kept behind bars because police suspect he was a U.S. citizen who could be deported, Ottawa police detective Paul Heagle told Reuters.

"He's a fat, strange type of guy," Heagle said.

After his arrest police found identification on him ranging from drivers' licenses to hospital cards with 10 different names with addresses from as far off as Australia and England.

Various birth dates made him as young as 42 and as old as 50, Heagle said. Police became suspicious on March 12 when they stopped him to ask for identification -- and he supplied two cards with different names.

To prove the cards were stolen, prosecutors would have had to show he was not actually any of those people, Heagle said, which would have meant flying in witnesses from around the world to testify he was not the person whose name was on the cards.

Credit cards found on him were under the name of Gerald Demanenko, a dead man from Manitoba. "It's hard to prove in court because you can't bring dead people back to testify they didn't allow him to use their names," Heagle said.

The mystery man also used the names John Malishewski, Paul Davis, Dean Oblin, Travis Bindernagel and Mike Johnston.

He will stay in custody awaiting a deportation hearing.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Another Stupid Criminal
  • Brazillian Congressman Faces Expulsion, Long List of Charges
  • Least Competent Criminal
  • A Look Back at '98s Stupid Criminals
  • Blonde Criminals
  • Don King
  • Talk about brotherly love!
  • Fred Lane
  • Cat Nap Not So Purrr-fect for Burglar
  • James Brown
  • Wendy O' Williams
  • Tyson in Isolation Cell After Hurling TV
  • Matthew McConaughey
  • Dennis Rodman
  • Mick Jagger
  • Jane Fonda
  • Hunter Loses Eye To Rifle-Firing Dog
  • Ray Lewis
  • Nikki Sixx
  • Tim Allen

  • More Stupid News...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    1st (0 replies)  
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (05.21.2001 0:18:18 AM EST)

    1st

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years
    A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison.
    10.28.2009

    Nude Man Accused Of Pounding On Cars On A Highway
    A man who told officers he was a ...
    10.11.2009

    Naked Man Riding Motorcycle Charged With DUI
    OCALA, Fla. – Authorities say a Florida man was charged ...
    09.28.2009

    Family Axes Wedding Plans, Egyptian Cuts Off Organ
    A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own ...
    09.08.2009

    Rate This!

    3.00 Goofballs of 5
    84 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop
    A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
    09.29.2008

    Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines
    A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ...
    09.01.2008

    Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch
    St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
    08.09.2008

    Brothel Offers Customers Gas Rebate
    Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas.
    08.08.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Thank You Science
    Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
    11.03.2007

    Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown
    McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ...
    06.25.2007

    Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers
    OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ...
    06.24.2007

    Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag
    WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ...
    06.23.2007

    Lookie Here!
    The Spy Who Shagged Me

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    A cat fish has 27,000 taste buds.