Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I didn't -- I swear I didn't -- get into politics to feather my nest or feather my friends' nests." -- Bush Jr., in the Houston Chronicle
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."
— Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#142 Hawaii is the only U.S. state never to report a temperature of zero degrees F or below.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so nasty skunks run from her
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What are the longest three years of a Florida football player's life?
A: His freshman year.
 
 


And Why the Hell Do They Need Uniforms?

By: robnoxiousPublished: 07/19/2006
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Chicago (AP) -- Dennis FitzSimons, the chief executive of the company that owns the Chicago Cubs, said today that staff reductions would be needed to bring costs in line with other properties in the Tribune Co. portfolio.

FitzSimons, who called the Cubs on-field peformance unacceptable when Tribune's 2nd-quarter earnings were released last week, said in a memo to employees that an undetermined number of ``unnecessary or overlapping'' positions would be eliminated. The Cubs have compiled the third-worst record in baseball this year despite having one of the highest payrolls.

Sources in the player's union said they expect buyouts to be offered. Among the positions they expect to be eliminated are the second baseman, middle-relief pitchers and the manager.

FitzSimons said in a conference call with baseball analysts that second base can be covered by the shortstop or, on ground balls to the left side of the field, by the pitcher, who has downtime available between pitches. He said the Cubs also anticipate using overshifts for every batter, using the Internet to cover the positions left vacant.

He acknowledged the possible loss of some double plays, but said they're statistically rare, which doesn't make sense on a cost-benefit basis, and mainly appeal to older fans.

The franchise's new 5-year strategic plan calls for starting pitchers to throw complete-game shutouts, or at least 8 and a third innings, eliminating the need for middle-relief pitchers and all but one closer, who can sell beer for the prior eight innings. By throwing shutouts, the company also expects to be able to save money on batters, who will need to score only one run.

Managers will be shared with minor league teams in the Cubs farm system, FitzSimons told the analysts.

"I don't expect the quality of the games will be diminished,'' he said, noting that Little League teams have functioned with much smaller coaching staffs and much lower salaries for the players. ``People have been coming to see baseball for decades, and there's no reason to expect that will change."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • A Scottish man was at a baseball game
  • Baseball's Best Burger
  • Baseball Fan
  • Sponsor a Baseball Player
  • Ass Baseball Video
  • Chicago Baseball Brawl
  • Baseball Lover
  • Woman Hit By Baseball Gets Millions
  • How About Them Cubbies
  • Boobs And Baseball
  • She Loves Baseball
  • The Birth Of (A) Baseball
  • The Biggest Baseball Bat
  • Baseball Fight Karate Kick
  • Baseball Pun
  • Britney's Baseball Team
  • More About Baseball
  • Baseball Gone Dumb
  • Priceless: Cubs Fan
  • Baseball Bodyguards

  • More Stupid News...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    It looks like (1 reply)
    started by tjshere
    (07.20.2006 12:30:46 PM EST)


    Teattime is still sucking hind teat.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    LOL (0 replies)  
    started by tjshere
    (07.19.2006 10:27:40 AM EST)


    Now I know why the Cubs play so many day games. The're too cheap to pay for lighting.

    Hey, maybe Odalis Perez could help them. I'd vote to send him there for free.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Transvestites On Trial For Theft
    SHANGHAI – Five Filipino transvestites have gone ...
    11.14.2009

    Woman Pleads Guilty In Road Rage / Salad Dressing Case
    BOISE, Idaho – An Idaho woman accused of ramming her ...
    11.13.2009

    Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years
    A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison.
    10.28.2009

    Nude Man Accused Of Pounding On Cars On A Highway
    A man who told officers he was a ...
    10.11.2009

    Rate This!

    4.00 Goofballs of 5
    10 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Police Arrest Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex
    Police say a Michigan man ...
    11.10.2008

    Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop
    A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
    09.29.2008

    Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines
    A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ...
    09.01.2008

    Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch
    St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
    08.09.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle
    They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
    11.19.2007

    Homeless Man Dresses In Women’s Underwear, Takes Snooze At Store
    Joplin, Mo- Employees of Kohl’s department store in ...
    11.18.2007

    Thank You Science
    Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
    11.03.2007

    Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown
    McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ...
    06.25.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Top Selling Music

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    Frogs can't swallow with their eyes open.