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George W. Bush
"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in doing so we notonly freed the American people, we made our own people more secure." —Bush, on regime change in the United States Source: Federal Document Clearinghouse, "President George W. Bush and AustralianPrime Minister John Howard Hold Joint Media Availability," May 3, 2003

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"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
—Steven Wright, Comedian

Snapple Facts
#190 Thailand means "Land of the Free".

Yo Mama ...
like Betty Crocker icing: Always ready to spread.

One Liners
Q: What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Dead Man Not Really Dead Yet

By: robnoxiousPublished: 01/07/2004
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NEW MEXICO - A New Mexico funeral home owner received the surprise of his career when a man pronounced dead at a hospital came back to life just before he was to be embalmed.

Russell Muffley, the owner of Muffley Funeral Home in Clovis, New Mexico, said he noticed Felipe Padilla breathing when the man pronounced dead at a hospital was being transferred to his facility on Wednesday. Padilla, 94, was rushed back to the same hospital, but did not recover. He was declared dead for a second time.

"When we were getting ready to move him from the stretcher to the embalming table, we noticed signs of life," Muffley said.

Padilla was breathing on his own but not speaking when paramedics took him from the funeral home back to Plains Regional Medical Center. He died a few hours later and was taken back to the funeral home, where arrangements had already been made.

Padilla will be buried next week.

"I have been doing this for 39 years and this has never happened before," Muffley said.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of

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    This Section


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    just (0 replies)
    started by bigjohn2
    (01.07.2004 9:41:25 PM EST)

    didnt want to go

    Flatliners... (0 replies)
    started by michaelcarl
    (01.07.2004 7:43:05 PM EST)

    I lost my pulse for over a min. And was still the life of the Party.

    Sorry Critic!

    Sounds like (0 replies)
    started by bd2son
    (01.07.2004 1:53:37 PM EST)

    Sounds like his head is buried in a muff some place . . . .

    At least he didn't speak (0 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (01.07.2004 1:06:32 PM EST)

    That would really suck to stick an embalming fluid needle into a guy and have him say "ouch!"

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    so (0 replies)  
    started by simonsez
    (01.07.2004 12:35:15 PM EST)

    did he get charged double?
    im not real sure id want someone named muffley fooling with me to start with.

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    Goofball Facts
    John Larroquette was the narrator of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."