"But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves." - Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin
#34 If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white.
Yo Mama ...
... is so fat, When she went to Sea World, she came out with a paycheck!
Q. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A. Juan on Juan
Life In A Vacuum
13 May 1998, New Jersey -- There's apparently not much to do in Long Branch during the long May evenings. A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. And using a vacuum cleaner had the appealing aspect of tidying up his mess after satisfying him.
Our horny hero didn't realize that the suction on his handheld Singer A-6 was created by a blade whirling just beneath the hose attachment, adjacent to the collection bag. His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis. With a sense of loss, he staggered to the phone and called police. He told them that he had been stabbed in his sleep. When police pointed out suspicious evidence, the victim claimed not to remember the incident.
Surgeons at Monmouth Medical Center stopped the bleeding, but were unable to reattach the 1/2" severed part. Though this man is still alive, his ability to reproduce has been curtailed by both his injury and his proclivity for household appliances.
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(07.29.2000 6:55:29 AM EST)
Just goes to show you men think with the wrong head!! Would he be considered brain dead now?? Oh come on someone had to say it!
(07.28.2000 0:28:58 AM EST)
You gotta tip your hat to him; he sure tipped his!
Fellow, American Association of Amateur Gynocologists.
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