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George W. Bush
 
"There's too much leaking in Washington. That's just the way it is. And we've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch." —Bush, adding a fourth branch of government while leaving out the third. Source: White House Office of the Press Secretary, "News Release: President Discusses Job Creation With Business Leaders," Sept. 30, 2003
 
 

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"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"
— Dick Cavett (mocking the TV-violence debate)
 
 

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#184 The most used letters in the English language are E, T, A, O, I and N.
 
 

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hair is so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.
 
 

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Q. Have you heard the latest Rush Limbaugh jokes?
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Don't you feel like sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
 
 


If Coke Was Like Microsoft

By: UncleJeffPublished: 03/10/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the software market with the soft drink market. He says Microsoft is struggling to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the Department of Justice doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following:

Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac.

Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99.

Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke.

Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled.

Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke!

Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free.

Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?

Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke!

Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going to drink the Coke.

Cashier: Then you can't have the burger.

Joe: Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away.

Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable.

Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things?!

Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See?

Joe: Why did you just do that?!

Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods.

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  • More Stupid News...

     

    Search
     
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    up the ante (1 reply)
    started by timhuck
    (03.10.2001 1:59:19 AM EST)

    I'll give you $3.99 if you dont tell me anymore bazooka joe humor.

    That was ...... (0 replies)
    started by ThePod
    (02.25.2001 11:07:38 PM EST)

    That was just terrible! IT RATES A 0 !

    idiot McDonalds (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (10.07.2000 2:24:18 PM EST)

    Who would dunk a burger into coke anyway??? It for one messes up the burger and two ruins the coke

    duh (0 replies)  
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (10.05.2000 0:15:29 AM EST)

    i'M FIRST....

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