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George W. Bush
 
"We're now saying, democracy must flourish. And as I recall from my history, it took us quite a while here in the United States, but nevertheless we are making progress." —Bush, in a "Meet the Press" interview shown Sunday, Feb. 8, 2004, discussing Iraq's transformation to democracy
 
 

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"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."
— Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
 
 

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#142 Hawaii is the only U.S. state never to report a temperature of zero degrees F or below.
 
 

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is so nasty skunks run from her
 
 

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Q: What are the longest three years of a Florida football player's life?
A: His freshman year.
 
 


If Coke Was Like Microsoft

By: UncleJeffPublished: 03/10/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the software market with the soft drink market. He says Microsoft is struggling to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the Department of Justice doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following:

Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac.

Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99.

Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke.

Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled.

Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke!

Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free.

Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?

Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke!

Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going to drink the Coke.

Cashier: Then you can't have the burger.

Joe: Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away.

Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable.

Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things?!

Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See?

Joe: Why did you just do that?!

Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods.

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    ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  
    Title: duh
    By: Anonymous Goofball
    Date: 10.05.2000 12:15 AM EST

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    duh    
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (10.05.2000 0:15:29 AM EST)

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