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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
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George W. Bush |
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"In an economic recession, I'd rather that in order to get out of this recession, that the people be spending their money, not the government trying to figure out how to spend the people's money." - Tampa, Fla., Feb. 16, 2004
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Random Quote |
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"The other thing we have to do is to take seriously the role in this problem of ... older men who prey on underage women.... There are consequences to decisions and ... one way or another, people always wind up being held accountable."
— Bill Clinton, June 13, 1996, in a speech endorsing a national effort against teen pregnancy, quoted in U.S. News and World Report.
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Snapple Facts |
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#32 There are one million ants to every human in the world.
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Yo Mama ... |
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... is so fat, She jumped in the ocean, and the whales started singing, "We are family!"
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One Liners |
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Q. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A. Everyone has the same DNA.
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 Man's Stomach Falls Out After Staples Removed | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 05/03/2004 | | |  |
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April 30, 2004 — George Sternats' first concern on returning home after having surgical staples removed from his abdomen following a stomach operation was to check on his backyard garden.
But instead of gathering some fresh vegetables, the 65-year-old found himself picking up his own stomach that had spilled out when his surgical wound reopened, his partner said on Friday.
"He was looking at how many tomatoes were on, and next minute I heard him scream 'Get the ambulance, my stomach fell out'," Cheryl Orme told reporters.
Sternats wrapped a towel around himself to hold his stomach in while Orme called an ambulance.
"They wanted to know if he had pains in his chest and I screamed at them 'His stomach fell out, he just got staples out from a cancer operation'," Orme recounted.
"What more can you say when your man's stomach's hanging out? Isn't that enough for them to come straight away?"
Sternats, from the northeastern city of Cairns, underwent surgery earlier this month to remove cancerous tumors from his abdomen and the surgical wound was closed with medical staples.
Doctors ordered the staples removed Wednesday morning and the couple returned home shortly after, Orme said.
Sternats was reported to be in stable condition but Orme said she planned to sue health authorities for negligence in removing the staples too soon.
"It's the most horrific thing I've ever seen, especially with someone you love," she said. "Every time I try to sleep I see George holding his stomach in his hands."
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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Car airbags kill one person for every 22 that they save.
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