Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"There is no such thing necessarily in a dictatorial regime of iron-clad absolutely solid evidence. The evidence I had was the best possible evidence that he had a weapon."
 
 

Random Quote
 
"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
— Rodney Dangerfield
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#36 A duck's quack doesn't echo.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, Even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.
 
 


Hit the Floor

By: PhantomPublished: 02/28/2000
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Not much of a news item but this is a true story.

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husbandin the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and she carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.

As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was big... very big... an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her.

She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind. Surely they knew her hesitation about joining them the elevator was all too obvious. Her face was flushed.

She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move.

Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then ...one of the men said,"Hit the floor."

Instinct told her: Do what they tell you. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator carpet. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh.

She lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my man here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am."

He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing. She thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say. The 3 of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket.

When the elevator arrived at her floor they insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter while they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room-a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years." It was signed, Eddie Murphy and Michael Jordan.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?


More Stupid News...

 

Search
 


Advanced Search
 
This Section

ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

You must register to participate in this discussion.
Impossible (0 replies)
started by kjd10
(11.07.2001 5:09:17 PM EST)

Because Michael Jackson hasn't been black since the 80's. This has the stink of Urban Legend all over it. Amusing in theory, though.

no way (0 replies)
started by hardball
(10.06.2000 5:21:01 PM EST)

aint no brother givin no white bitch money less she suckin his dick.

Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.Don't ask what you country can do for you. Get off your lazy fat ass and get a fucking job.

Booring (0 replies)
started by breaker99
(09.27.2000 3:08:38 AM EST)

This story has been circulting for years for jaysus sakes. The 2 black men are often reported as Karl Malone or other "nice" black men. Urban legend it is folks.. check it out at snopes.com

Urban Legend (0 replies)
started by mrbreeze
(09.26.2000 9:10:00 AM EST)

I knew a lady at work who was dating a guy who had a female cousin whose lesbian lover had the same thing happen to her........
Only it was Lionel Richie....and but there wasn't any flowers.....
He banged her. Set her straight.

Fyson?? (0 replies)
started by napatak
(09.26.2000 3:36:36 AM EST)

I heard this story from this lady at work a couple of months ago. Cool.

1st in line (0 replies)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(09.26.2000 0:37:24 AM EST)

I'm fist!

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


Most Recent
Transvestites On Trial For Theft
SHANGHAI – Five Filipino transvestites have gone ...
11.14.2009

Woman Pleads Guilty In Road Rage / Salad Dressing Case
BOISE, Idaho – An Idaho woman accused of ramming her ...
11.13.2009

Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years
A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison.
10.28.2009

Nude Man Accused Of Pounding On Cars On A Highway
A man who told officers he was a ...
10.11.2009

Rate This!

3.47 Goofballs of 5
121 Viewer(s) rated

Rating the content is for registered users only.

Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Police Arrest Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex
    Police say a Michigan man ...
    11.10.2008

    Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop
    A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
    09.29.2008

    Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines
    A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ...
    09.01.2008

    Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch
    St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
    08.09.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle
    They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
    11.19.2007

    Homeless Man Dresses In Women’s Underwear, Takes Snooze At Store
    Joplin, Mo- Employees of Kohl’s department store in ...
    11.18.2007

    Thank You Science
    Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
    11.03.2007

    Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown
    McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ...
    06.25.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Dilbert Gives You the ...

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    Dr. Who? There are at least 10 doctors in the U.S. with the last name of 'Nurse'!