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	George W. Bush
	"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot). Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004

	Random Quote
	"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly theprescription ran out." — Steven Wright, Comedian

	Snapple Facts
	#209 The largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1,061 lbs.

	Yo Mama ...
	so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.

	One Liners
	Q: What's the height of conceit? A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Most Recent
	Transvestites On Trial For Theft SHANGHAI – Five Filipino transvestites have gone ... 11.14.2009 Woman Pleads Guilty In Road Rage / Salad Dressing Case BOISE, Idaho – An Idaho woman accused of ramming her ... 11.13.2009 Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison. 10.28.2009 Nude Man Accused Of Pounding On Cars On A Highway A man who told officers he was a ... 10.11.2009

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Police Arrest Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex Police say a Michigan man ... 11.10.2008 Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ... 09.29.2008 Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ... 09.01.2008 Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. 08.09.2008

Two Years Ago
	Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." 11.19.2007 Homeless Man Dresses In Women’s Underwear, Takes Snooze At Store Joplin, Mo- Employees of Kohl’s department store in ... 11.18.2007 Thank You Science Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ... 11.03.2007 Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ... 06.25.2007

Lookie Here!
	Our Dumb Century

	Casino Joke
	I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!

	Goofball Facts
	The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.