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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
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George W. Bush |
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"Well, I think we need to work with governments and institutions and NGOs to encourage the institutions of a free society," Bush said. "See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office - I love to bring people into the Oval Office - right around the corner from here, and say, this is where I [have an] office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person." - The Washington Post, "Rocking the Vote in the Middle East," Feb. 20, 2004
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Random Quote |
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"You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."
— President William Clinton 5/29/93
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Snapple Facts |
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#31 The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping.
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Yo Mama ... |
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... is so fat, She looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids!
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One Liners |
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Q. What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
A. Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
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 Peter, Peter Pumpkin Boinker | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 10/31/1999 | | |  |
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Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of Wimbledon, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 pm Friday. Davidson
will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin
that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this
pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson.
"I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?" He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?"
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More Stupid News...
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| Title: |
This is an urban legend/joke |
| By: |
Anonymous Goofball
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| Date: |
10.31.2000 1:15 PM EST |
and should not be in the news section. This did not happen.
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Current Thread and Replies |
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| Section Features
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| One Year Ago
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| Lookie Here!
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
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