Taking It For Granted
By: JSkills	Published: 09/18/2000
It sounded like the sound you hear when you bite into a cold crisp apple, except that is was much louder. My ankle made this sound the other night while I was playing basketball. I was taking it hard to the hole and landed on my defender’s foot when I came down. What came out of my mouth at the moment – I was told afterwards – sounded like the scream I’d have made if I had stumbled onto a scene where a grisly murder had been committed. Well actually, they didn’t say it quite that way. They told me I “cried like a bitch”. Ok so it hurt. I think it was just the shock of it happening and hearing the nasty ankle crunch sound. It was a bad one this time. There are always many minor little sprains here and there for someone who plays basketball a couple of times a week, but I hadn't had one this like this one since 1992. So of course the next thing I did after this one was to ask, “did it go in?” The reason I remember the incident in 1992 is due to the fact that it occurred at a mad party held at the large house I once lived in with some friends of mine. We went through three kegs and a decently stocked bar with 75 of our closest friends. Somehow at the end of the night, we ended up playing drunken b-ball. This is always a bad idea. So at one point, I grabbed a rebound and landed on someone’s foot. The pain probably should have been pretty hard to ignore, but since I was riding the Irish Fun Train, I simply tightened up my sneaker and kept playing. The next morning’s hangover was insane, like I had a steel rod pushed through my temples and my entire head was encased in cement. When I got out of bed and stepped on the floor with my bad ankle I immediately fell on my face. Unable to bear any weight at all on the injury, I literally had to crawl to the bathroom in order to pay homage to the porcelain god with a technicolor yawn. Laying on the floor, I realized that it was one of the lowest moments in my life – you have no idea just how disgracefully filthy the bathroom floor in a bachelor house could get. So today I had to rest all day in front of the TV. I attempted to make the best of it. I saw the film that won the Oscar for best documentary of 1999 – One Day in September. It was story of the Isreali athletes that were kidnapped from the Olympic village and eventually all murdered by Arab terrorists in Munich during the 1972 Olympics. The events as they unfolded were too bizarre to be anything but true. The Olympic Committee continued the games for almost a day after two men were killed and 10 others were being held hostage. When it came to the authorities trying to remedy the situation, it was a tragic bumblefest. Early on the German police attempted a rescue and called it off at the last second once it occurred to them that their actions were being televised live and that there were TVs in all of the athlete’s rooms. The terrorists were watching their every move live. As a last result, the German police set an ambush at the airport for the terrorists where (1) five of their policemen voted amongst themselves to run away before the ambush (2) the five snipers they had in place (to attack eight terrorists) killed only two terrorists and shot two of each other (3) all of the athletes were murdered. It was one of the most horrible things I’ve ever seen. Not that I would ever make light of this kind of situation, but isn’t ironically cliché that it was Jewish people getting another raw deal in Germany? So in today’s Olympics, what are the issues? We’ve had the attempts to extinguish and steal the Olympic torch. There’s the issue of why Cuban high jumper Sotomayor (the only person to ever high jump eight feet) is being allowed to compete despite the fact that he’s less than one year into his mandatory two year suspension for use of cocaine. Or maybe it’s due to the smashing of the old myth about having sex prior to an athletic performance being a “bad” thing. That’s right. A new study confirms that sex actually increases athletes’ testosterone production, which enhances athletic performance. In fact, the Sydney Organizing Committee is supplying all athletes with 51 condoms for only seven days of competition. In contrast, our "issues" we concern ourselves with in the Olympics today are really a joke compared to the problems we had in 1972. I think that where there are no real problems, we tend to find or create something to bitch about. It’s all relative, really. The minor issues and problems I think that I have to deal with every day are really a joke compared to the situation I’m in now – I can’t walk. It’s another classic cliché. You never appreciate your health until it’s taken away from you. It’s funny what we do take for granted in life. So please do me a favor. Rate this item and leave a comment on the bottom (not necessarily in that order) and then immediately get off your computer and go outside and run around like a silly fool for me. Why? Because you can. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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you're all made of glass (1 reply) started by Anonymous Goofball (11.18.2000 0:06:07 AM EST) you broke your foot playing basketball? oh god. thats so pathetic! and you even posted it up on the web. dork!

HUH? (0 replies) started by trevorparsons (09.27.2000 10:11:04 PM EST) Am I the only person who does not pick any sence out of this idiot's rambling thoughts. I think that he should stop listening to the "little voices" in his head!

HAHA (0 replies) started by Gruff (09.25.2000 2:20:51 PM EST) csanford is just a big old faggot! Goofball.com, Ah Reckon.

Damn... (4 replies) started by CherryLne (09.22.2000 7:49:41 PM EST) ...think that's bad? I was at a steak house one night where a friend of mine was bartending. He asked to come up there and he would buy me drink and dinner! Well, I'm not one to pass up something free, so I went! I got there and drinked 3, count em, 1, 2, 3, Midori Sours and got up off my bar stool to go to the bathroom. Well, I took a step off the bar stool onto my left foot and then took a step onto my right foot and POP!!!!! I was wearing 2 1/2" block heels, guys it's kind of like the heel on a boot, and I stepped on something. Well the girl that was sitting behind me heard the POP!! I managed to hobble to the bathroom, but by the time I got done, my foot had swelled up and I had a bone trying to break out of the skin! I managed to get out of the stall and holler for help and one of the waiters came in there and carried me out and put me back on the bar stool. Well, my friend decided he was gonna close bar and take me to the hospital, without insurance, I told him hell no. So he ended up taking me to a clinic and paid for it! Foot was broken, from taking a step and sober at that! My point: SHIT HAPPENS! Hahahahahaha!! ~*CherryLne*~

snap crackle pop goes the bone!! (3 replies) started by SuicideKing (09.21.2000 1:35:53 AM EST) don't you hate it when that happens? I played on the Clarkson racquetball team, played like 400 games and lost 3, :) and one time playing the wall (I'd actually stall-hop off the wall to get high high balls, I came down on the side of my foot. wow, nice snapping sound, I had to hop by myself from our gym back over to my gym room, that suckeeeeeed R¥äñ (the §üîçïÐê Kïñg) "This isn't me, I'm not mechanical, I'm just a boy....playing the suicide king"

You're almost right... (0 replies) started by sigma (09.20.2000 2:26:58 AM EST) About sex making a person's athletic performance better-- You're right about the testosterone levels being higher and all that.... except you forgot to leave out one small point-- if you get off, it's worthless, even drops you below your normal level of ability. I know this from experience: I was a freshmen in college, it was about halfway thru the year, and I had stayed over with the girl I was seeing at the time. I had to get up early, and I asked her to wake me up, so naturally, she did.... with a blowjob. The only thing was, there wasn't enough time to finish before I had to be over at the sports complex for off-season running for football. Now, I was an inside receiver, so I wasn't the fastest guy on the team, though I did still play a skill position. I usually finished each "gasser," or set of wind sprints, near the middle to the back of the pack. That morning, I didn't finish anything we did lower than the top 3, and we were a run and shoot offense, so we had quite a large recreiving core, and quite a few of them could run 4.4- 4.6 40's.... whereas I was like a 4.9. So here I'm thinking, "hmm... I wonder if I ran like that cuz of what happened before?" So, the next time, she did the same thing, but we finished in time, and I ran like crap... not finishing higher than the last 3 with each rep. Heh, go figger, eh? I TOOK MY PROZAC!

A suggestion (0 replies) started by RedNeckedTulsan (09.19.2000 12:34:27 PM EST) While resting(on your back) get a good bit of head. A BJ does not cure a busted up ankle but it sure eases those muscles and i believe should be paid for by med insurance. Hell its more pain relieving than tylenol, does your heart less damage and is probably cheaper than most meds they would fork out for anyways! Now if you manage to follow this advice and do get the insurance people to fork out for it(or manage to convince significant other that this is ONLY for medicinal purposes and therefore to wear a sexy nurses outfit) please tell me how you did it. I too feel ill all of a sudden.....

I feel your pain (1 reply) started by rook30505 (09.18.2000 11:43:31 PM EST) try doing anything with a torn acl(anterior crucial ligament).We're talking at least a month on crutches,3 to 5 months rehabilitation,surgery unless your real lucky,and a bum knee for the rest of your life no matter what you do.I know it sucks,but it could be a lot worse Drive fast,take chances,and remember,unprotected sex is better than no sex

that sucks (1 reply) started by dancinjenny (09.18.2000 4:48:10 PM EST) well..were u sober when you played this time?? i've been there done that also...it sucks and it's painful..but the sympathy an be fun...people get you shit, pay more attention too you, some extra lovin...enjoy it while it lasts!!!

Jskills (1 reply) started by christina (09.18.2000 1:11:01 PM EST) i'm sorry to hear about your ankle hope it gets better soon.as for runing around today i've done that alredy but still more to go, i'd like to sit on my ass all day though so who is the lucky one? ok well i'm off agine take care of that ankle. THE BITCH WAS HERE

Been there, done that... (1 reply)   started by oliverclozoff (09.18.2000 1:40:42 AM EST) ...got the T-shirt. One summer about #% years ago, I got three - count 'em THREE - sprained ankles. First the right, then the left, then the right again. That last was the worst. I was jaywalking in downtown Denver. I stepped off the curb just as a car rounded the corner toward me. I tried to stop midstep and turned my ankle under. I ended up lying in the gutter sobbing like a woman. People just walked by and stared. I'm sure they thought I was some kind of derelict wino going through the DTs. It took me at least ten minutes before I could get up and hop back to my car, (which fortunately was only about 20 feet away). Also, fortunately, it had an automatic transmission. I managed to put my leg up on the passenger seat and drive using my left foot. I'm still amazed that I made it home in one piece; I damned near passed out a couple of times. For about three weeks after that, it looked like I had half a baseball tucked in my sock. It still hurts just to think about it. Fellow, American Association of Amateur Gynecologists

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