Greetings from the FBI
By: JSkills	Published: 09/21/2000
Recently, we here at Goofball.com received an ominous phone call from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The agent – we’ll call him Agent X – was calling from the San Diego Field Office – the FBI’s headquarters for their Cyber Squad unit. Agent X had left a message at our office to call him back as soon as possible. Robnoxious and I were the first to hear the message and after wetting our pants and shitting a couple of pickles, we tried to figure out why he’d be calling us. My immediate thought was that it had something to do with a recent intrusion on our machines I had detected a little while back. Yes, it’s sad and embarrassing, but we were victims of some “black hat” hacker types. They did no intentional damage, but they rendered one of machines useless in their attempts to take it over. They had a day or two of fun, but through their own carelessness were caught. So I went into psycho-geek mode and began implementing tight security to basically lock down all of our machines. I went insane getting to the bottom of it all, doing tons of “just in time” learning. It was a terrible feeling to have to work this way (desperate and violated). I went thirty hours straight during a completely lost weekend. It’s pretty scary what you have to worry about, but it could have been a lot worse. Tons of sites get hacked and defaced all the time. Everybody's a wannabe hacker these days, even crusty old ladies. So my feeling was that during the time period they’d gotten in, our machines were used for some criminal purposes and the FBI had traced it back to us. I had heard of some denial of service attacks that had taken place elsewhere in the world and I was wondering if one or more of our machines got pimped into part of the action. I played phone tag with Agent X for a few days and then finally we spoke. He was not calling for the reason I thought he was. He was calling because “several people had called in reporting seeing a video of a murder on Goofball.com”. I couldn't believe this is why we were getting a call from the FBI. He wanted to know the origin of the video in question. Of course, I told him I’d find out. Then we got to talking a bit and I found out he was actually a pretty cool guy in general. I told him we were under the impression the video was fake, but he said that they’d “been looking at it very carefully at the FBI office and weren’t so sure”. He told me we were not doing anything wrong by having the video on the site – unless “it is real and we were a party to it”. I told him the reason it was up at all was that we've pushed the limits with our videos so many times, that people were complaining. I told him about the hack. He assured me that what was done to us was illegal and that he could help us follow up, particularly since I had all of the info on the intruders who broke in (they didn’t cover their tracks very well). In fact, they still continue to try to this day. We left off that I’d call when I found out where the video came from. I contacted the Goofball fan who sent in the video who was very helpful. It came from another website. Great. So I tried to get in contact with Agent X for a few days, and when I finally do, he tells me the case has been transferred to Agent Y. He says Agent Y will call me later today. Agent Y never called. So what can we surmise from this little story? People who come to Goofball actually thought we posted the video of a murder? The FBI actually thought the video might be real? The FBI doesn’t finish investigations? The FBI doesn’t care about medium sized sites getting hacked? Goofball.com has exhibited bad taste in even publishing this video? I really don’t know what to make of it all ... Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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goofballers at from FBI? (0 replies) started by 26letters (05.16.2001 9:44:07 AM EST) well i think the agents from fbi were just goofing off at goofball.com ......what do you call them?......goofballers? the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

goofballers at from FBI? (0 replies) started by 26letters (05.16.2001 9:43:25 AM EST) well i think the agents from fbi were just goofing off at goofball.com ......what do you call them?......goofballers? the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

real snuff film (0 replies) started by izzyrodriguez (10.09.2000 5:19:29 PM EST) thats pretty crazy considering the video i posted looks ten times more real than that one did

I'm with FBI !!!!!!!! (0 replies) started by gknouf (10.03.2000 11:08:07 PM EST) FEMALE-BODY INSPECTOR!!!!!!!!!!!

fooey (0 replies) started by DONWAN (10.03.2000 10:33:19 AM EST) This site kicks ass, so fuck them all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID!!! (1 reply) started by Anonymous Goofball (09.29.2000 2:48:01 PM EST) You are very stupid for even putting that film on the your site. Just think what if that film is real do you really want kids or anyone that comes on this site to see things like that. My personal opinion is that you had nothing better to put on your site so you all had to stoop this low even if that video was fake you don't put shit like that on the net this world is screwed up enough with out you helping it out.

conspiracy theory (0 replies) started by Lordbenn (09.28.2000 9:42:32 PM EST) Maybe it wasn't the FBI. It could have been the hackers and they were trying to cover their tracks in a different way... "The blood of the non-beleivers shall flow in the streets..."

Hrrrmmm... well.... (0 replies) started by thebulldawg (09.28.2000 2:32:08 AM EST) WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL LIKE I AM SURROUNDED BY MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF NET GEEKS!!!! AGH!!!! Inside that bitter brain there's gotta be a whore... If you don't shut your mouth, your gonna feel the floor, yeah! "Attitude", GN'R Version, 1993, Geffen Records.

Kool (0 replies) started by trevorparsons (09.27.2000 10:08:43 PM EST) That shit is pretty freaky! I have not seen the video in question but I would like to. Don't let those FBI faggots scare you!!!!!!

All points taken (0 replies) started by JSkills (09.25.2000 12:27:16 PM EST) I'm with everyone one of you who have a hard time believing the FBI could think it was real. That is why I wrote this down for you to see. At first I thought it was somneone messing with us. But the call wasn't a prank. Caller ID verified it was from the SD office of the FBI. So what I still can't figure out is why would they contact us in the first place. Some good guesses (Roger) were offered below, but I'd love to know for sure ... JSkills Goofball Staff

Snuff Film (0 replies) started by moboneii (09.25.2000 1:46:09 AM EST) Come on guys... you can see the pixel editing even before the hammer drops.... And, I am sure the FBI has better equipment that just media player.

What a load of horseshit... (0 replies) started by kingtubby (09.25.2000 0:17:06 AM EST) First of all, the morons at the FBI must all have room temerature IQ if they don't notice how fake the video in question is. It looks like a cap gun and in slow motion you can see some fake smoke and an entering hole in her forehead and barbaque sauce comming out of a non-exsisting exit hole. Think about it.

interesting (0 replies) started by Albatros (09.24.2000 1:59:56 PM EST) hmmm. who woulda thunk it'd go that far. geez so did you ever find the moron that hacked ya? Join the ARMY. Meet interesting people. Kill them. This Place is FUBAR!

Not-So X-Files (0 replies) started by mixmatson (09.24.2000 0:56:13 AM EST) Has anyone actually gone to the F.B.I Web page? Counterfeit Vintage Memorabilia??? Must be a slow month... Maybe Mulder & Skully really DO have it good. Sheeeeeiit, that aint no tang

This is great.......hahaha (1 reply) started by Roger (09.23.2000 8:51:02 AM EST) I think the FBI did get enough calls on the snuff video to come here. I don't think they thought it was real. The reason they contacted you in the first place was to close the files. If something comes up at a later date, they can show they contacted you and yada yada yada. They probably all got a laugh out of it, saying, "how can anyone think this is real, why look the shadows are all wrong, they took Roger's head and pasted it onto VirtualJul's body, can't these idiots see that?" Waaaaaaaaa Hahahahaha. I love goofballs.... hehehe and VirtualJul can put her head on my body anytime. waaaa hahahaha What's the difference between weddings and funerals? At weddings, you get to smell the flowers.

Hey JSkills, I have a question... (1 reply) started by SuicideKing (09.22.2000 6:28:11 PM EST) you said they mainly seemed to want to use your machine..was it someone attempting to find weaknesses in servers to plant dormant daemons in so that sometime in the future they could activate them and cause a DOS (Denial Of Service) attack on another server or box? hope you took care of it, I may be a script kiddie but that low of a scripter is so demeaning to the word hacker that nobody respects them. R¥äñ (the §üîçïÐê Kïñg) "When I go out, I'ma go out shootin' I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid!"

the fbi story may have another turn (1 reply) started by janeQnormal (09.22.2000 3:11:20 PM EST) the fbi proply hacked in your system to trace the film read the info about the other web site and didnt need to hear from you anymore they had thier lead but that idea only works if the hacking has stoped OR it wasnt the FBI but just some fans janeQnormal

oh yeah... (0 replies) started by rook30505 (09.22.2000 1:38:45 AM EST) they were checkin out the web for smut videos and they happened to come across this one. "wait a sec fellas!!check this one out,we can make everyone think we're doing our jobs,and watch porn,what more could you wish for?" Drive fast,take chances,and remember,unprotected sex is better than no sex

disturbing (0 replies) started by peepeehead (09.21.2000 11:15:19 PM EST) The FBI should stick to focusing on real issues, issues that matter, life and death issues, for example, subliminal election campaign ads. LOL. i am a well respected reverend who blesses "civil unions" between cauliflowers and tape dispensers, which is usually frowned upon in my state, for some reason.

How could you think its real? (1 reply) started by mellowy2k (09.21.2000 6:21:28 PM EST) The FBI must not look at this kind of crazy internet video very often. They must have never edited any video in photoshop or premier. The gunshot blast looks faked for one. Then there is the nice little -what I am sure the FBI thought was a hole- black spot on her head. One problem though. The spot does not move with her head. The splatter in the background is just ridiculous. No gray matter, no skull. What the hell? I think the FBI just needed to write off some expenses for the porn sites they go to and used this as a cover for their "research". A question to the FBI. Who shot Kennedy ? If you stand up too quickly you might get dizzy and fall down. So sit a relax for a while };-)

This is a test (0 replies) started by BriRedfern (09.21.2000 12:36:56 PM EST) Just want to make sure that my signature line is working. Dagoalie likes to get blow jobs from underage boys; his mother left he and his father for a fifty year old nun with venereal disease.

Cool, man (0 replies) started by SuicideKing (09.21.2000 1:32:46 AM EST) when I was at Clarkson the Feds came in because of one of my friends. needless to say, being computer science and computer engineering majors, we had our share of every illegal activity on the net..lol. Oh, and props for the link to Attrition, I've been going to that sight for years, SSH 0wns m3! hehe... DJMCYTCracker r0x! R¥äñ (the §üîçïÐê Kïñg) "This isn't me, I'm not mechanical, I'm just a boy....playing the suicide king"

Yeah right (1 reply) started by msbzdragn (09.21.2000 0:32:28 AM EST) The FBI contacted you over that sick joke, and I've got a 25-incher! This is just a lame pull for some publicity, that film is so fake looking it is ridiculous! squid

What happened to Agent X... (0 replies)   started by oliverclozoff (09.21.2000 0:22:01 AM EST) I bet he got reassigned to track down that serial killer in The Cell. Take time to stop and smell the panties.

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