Media Programming II
By: Crick	Published: 09/07/2000
Continued from Part I ... Most likely we've all been made to feel like misfits and rejects from the time we were born, due to the message that we're never complete human beings unless we own the latest gizmo with anti-lock digital capability. According to "them", you are a worthless piece of trash. A consumer. Do you enjoy being labeled a "consumer"? Well, it seems that we're very clearly being told that we're dumb and useless (unless, of course, we buy something and consume it). We've done so much to reduce people's self worth to a pile of plastic status, that it's essential to combat that with the latest of all snake oils. But now that I've turned you onto the cool, techno Pattern Indicator device that doesn't run on AA batteries, let's turn it sideways for a moment. Oh, look... it's another prescription drug commercial, with a scientific (but not too scientific) name and with an answer for all of your problems. After being subjected to the endless barrage of ads claiming miracles to your supposedly awful problems, it's no wonder that most of us turn to drugs (legal) or game shows where the people eat rats and win a million dollars. Fragment further our fragmented reality and now we are floating among the clouds: Zoloft Paxil Claritin Viagra Prilosec ... just to name a few. My word processor is telling me that none of these words are spelled correctly, and that's because none of these words are real words. They're actually cleverly concocted names designed to make you feel cozy in the soothing arms of research and development. They almost mean something, and they remind us of something tangible, but we can't put our finger on it exactly. The names are not made for us to think about on a conscious level, but are meant to attack our subliminal thoughts with visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in our heads. Some advertisements don't even tell us what the drugs are supposed to be used for. Prilosec, for example, doesn't tell us anything about it. Instead they call it (and I quote), "The little purple pill that everyone's talking about." The audio is combined with images of a purple pill almost dancing in the sky. They might as well be selling candy and calling them grape "Now & Later". And among ALL the people that I know, NO ONE is talking about it, however they like to give the impression that EVERYONE is talking about it to make us feel bad that we don't know what it is, and we're not being prescribed it by our friendly family physician, who by the way, gets paid hefty commissions by pharmaceutical companies to push their poisons on us. But if they do happen to mention what their product aims at curing, another thing that you'll notice is that we probably never knew we had a seriously medical problem to begin with. It's only until the idea is planted in our minds that there's something wrong with us do we actually believe that there's a problem. And the power of suggestion is greatly achieved through the various images they present to us, which heighten our emotive response. They project pollen as a natural enemy, and anxiety as the next plague. They show images of the miserable sneezer unable to live a normal life in whatever natural environment we have left. They show images of people hiding in dark corners, afraid to come out and greet their friends. They show images of our grandfather, deep in sadness because his penis won't get hard. So let's take a look at some of our problems in a normal way. First, I'm sure there are some people who suffer greatly due to pollen allergies, and I'm in no way minimizing their suffering. If a pill works for them, fine by me. But the broad-based marketing of such products indicates that drug companies are targeting parts of the population that have never considered taking these drugs because they've lived with their allergies without disruption to their lives. The same goes for all other drugs and ailments. Some people have serious need for them, but the vast majority is better off with alternative, more natural approaches to their ills. The drug which cures our allergy problems is called Claritin. It's a great name, instilling us with the feeling that clarity will prevail after several doses. In fact, every single person I know has allergies, but it was never a serious problem until we were made to think it was. Then we have the great antidepressant, Zoloft with its magical and soothing name. Zoloft makes you feel lofty, flying along with the clouds. They used to call such a drug by the name of lithium, but lithium is a messy word, simply because it's actually the name of an element on the periodic table, and no one wants to take something which is the chemical cousin of Beryllium, whatever that is. So they named it Zoloft, which sounds to me like a word that could have been shouted by a German upon releasing the Hindenburg from its mooring cables. ZOLOFT!!! Next we have the drug Paxil, whose name is just as mysterious and vague as the ailment which it claims to cure. But who cares what it really does? Just watch the television commercial and you'll be moved to tears. Watch how the guy, with his newly found confidence, walks off into the distance with a girl he just met in the park, looking back at the viewer with a wink. Watch how the man who previously cowered in fear before his boss, banging his lonely head against the wall in a dark hallway, is suddenly being applauded by hundreds of people at a company dinner, while his grey haired, white, Anglo-Saxon boss looks on with approval, giving him the strong silent nod of a job well done. What we might fail to see, however, is that fear and anxiety are a natural part of life, and 99.999% of us don't need a pill to make it go away. Instead of facing it with time and real-life solutions, pills are pushed on us but not before we're made to feel like freaks. Then we have the grandaddy trail blazer of them all. You guys know what I'm talking about. Yeah, 65 years old and got a problem with your slick willy? Gobble down a few of these iron rods in a bottle, and you'll be sticking it to teenagers everywhere. By the time we reach 65, most of our wives will be so tired of being chased around the bed that we'll never get a chance to use it on them, so you better be looking for young gal. Good luck, grampa. Anyway, by the time I'm 65, I don't want to have sex anymore. I'm hoping to be free of that addiction by then. Nothing has probably caused me more problems in my life than my libido. In some ways, I can't wait to use my brain again instead of my balls. The name Viagra is an interesting choice, too. It sounds remotely Latin, or some kind of new SUV produced by Ford Motors. Just imagine, jumping in your new Ford Viagra, rock-hopping across the desert canyons of Arizona, occasionally leaving the ground and going Zoloft, and sitting next to you is a cutie pixie super model named Paxil. You get the idea. Anyway, when I'm 65, I hope to be beyond my biological urge to complicate my life any further than it already will be. I'll leave the rodeo-ing to the youngsters, even if I can still pop a boner as we used to say. So with everything that allegedly is wrong with us, maybe we're supposed to feel like we should be either killing ourselves (saving others the brutal task of eliminating us from the game) or buying things to make us feel better. When an alleged group of 120 million hypnotics perform the same task at the same time, however, like watching a "game" show or "taking that little purple pill that everyone's talking about", we should probably take notice and point our fancy Pattern Indicator gizmo and push the big, red warning button. Did you ever wonder why they call it a "program", anyway? Step back from the mesmerizing photon-box for a minute and feel the power of suggestion. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (0 replies) started by roger (02.28.2003 1:01:57 AM EST) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz did they kill ole yeller? Just protecting my sheep

hhhhhh (0 replies) started by mrdrape (12.29.2000 1:58:09 PM EST) Shut up. All of you just SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I eat scumm and then I'm done

Okay, here goes nothing... (0 replies) started by theresalove (09.25.2000 10:13:17 PM EST) I have read the rant, and the thread of replies following it. I am not here to anger anyone or step on any toes, but I too, have an opinion to share on the topics posed. I suffer from allergies...as do many others, but I don't run directly to the doctor so he/she can hand me a proscription for something that probably came about accidentally by someone trying to cook methamphetamine in a bathtub one day, did a line and discovered pollen or cat dander wasn't causing him to wish he were dead. If it isn't causing you to suffer, apparently, your body is just trying to tell you to avoid these misery-causing things. Not only are you poisoning your body with OTC toxins, you are also robbing your body of it's natural way of letting yopu know something is wrong. Or, in the case of unwilling penises, it could be an underlying medical/psychological problem causing this; either way, a little pill will not solve it. The human body is not a perfect thing, and trying (in vain) to make it one will only speed the weakening process we all go through before we die. As far as "programming" and "remote controls" are concerned, I have to agree with the origional post. Somewhere in the world, at this very moment, there is a young woman watching a tear make its way down her face because she fells she is ugly, not good enough, whatever. Why? Because the television tells us that only beautiful people are happy successful beings. Big breasts, small tight butts, and a face full of animal fat (make up)are not all that matters. Maybe she's born with it (yeah, right), maybe it's Maybelline (you bet your ass it is). Anyone ever see a model before her goo is applied.... Godzilla city, sweetie... Tres' chic, strutting aroung with fat and placenta all over your face. Just makes me want to run out and load my shopping cart right now! I am not the most beautiful person in the world, and honestly I see myself as below average because of some of the people in my past, but I am comfortable with me. Be who you are, not what the world or the box with people in it say you should be. I am not a hippie, I am not a commie; I am a Psychiatric Technician Assistant from California who does not buy into all the hype the world is trying to shove down my throat. I have my own style, and don't care to follow the "latest trend", or buy every new gizmo out on the market, just to keep up with the Jones'. DUH!!!!!!

Thanks for the Love... (1 reply) started by crick (09.13.2000 0:08:41 AM EST) Well sir, I enjoyed reading your rant, but if I'm a hippie commie, it seems that you're a soulless nitwit who has had the ring in his nose so long he doesn't even feel it when they pull on the chain. Just follow along and think it all good. Yeah, it's all nature and I agree with that and I'll probably be the only one laughing when your dying planet coughs up a big hairball all over your "things" that define YOU. Hey, but you take me too seriously. I must have hit a nerve in your fragile ego. You make some good points but underneath it all is a rationalization of your desire to rape, pillage, and plunder and say, "well... everyone's doing it." Well, no they AREN'T. I wonder if you've ever traveled far enough out into the world to discover that fact, or maybe you don't care. You don't even know me, but you made some pretty large assumptions. I suggest you ask questions before you know the answers. You sound like a politician chanting a mantra about jobs and technology. Yeah, thank god for jobs and technology, catchy phrases of the millennium. Hope it gets you a few votes. And mentioning the news was the biggest joke of them all. Just the fact that you include that in your list of sacred cows tells me exactly how much you really know. You need to wake up. But then again, you don't. Just keep hoping that your tenuous grip on reality holds for as long as you live. Otherwise, you'll be weeping and wondering how it all went to hell right before your eyes. Not me. Actually, I have a sense of humor about that, and realize how fucked we are and how there's nothing we can do about it, least of all wasting so much time replying to your childish concepts. But I enjoy taking the time out of my busy day to laugh at your herd mentality. Sure we're all programmed to some degree, but nothing is black and white. There are levels of it. It seems you've chosen to give up and sink to the bottom. If you think that hippies like me (nice assumption) are running the show, then your ignorance is even more profound. Where did you get that information from? You don't even know who pulls the strings attached to you, so don't try to guess, okay? It's beyond you and even beyond me, but at least I don't go around blaming it on hippies! Geez, was your dad a Republican? How did you like that comment? Cheap, huh? Try to elevate your mind a little above the tired and trite. Maybe then you'd learn something. But you're too busy trying to be a brain-eater and a soul reaper that you completely forgot that you also have a soul. Hey, you brought it up, not me. But now I guess you'll try to stick one of your borrowed labels like "religious nut" on me. Nice try. But I'm not trying to save civilization, sir, or your soul. In fact, I could care less about either. But why is it that whenever someone criticizes a certain aspect of "culture", people take it personally? What you fail to realize is the fact that there should be a balance in people's lives. You think I should grow my own food and make my own clothes only because you can't see a healthy balance. It's either all or nothing for you. On or off, black or white. How much intelligence is there in that response? But I imagine that you have many more deep conversations about the nature of reality than you do about tv (keep a running count, KID) so I guess it gets a little bit tiring for you, huh? I watch so little tv, it's ridiculous, but I don't need to throw it out the window like you suggest. Why do you even assume that I have a tv? Oh, I guess that's because you think everyone has one, right? Feel the ring in your nose, yet, Bessie? Now, don't get me wrong. I respect some of your opinions, but not many of them. I think you're 100% right when you say that religious art is a form of advertising, but there you go again... lumping ALL art into the same advertising category. Just when I think you've got it, you go and disappoint me. Black or white, on or off. Be careful about labeling MY ideas as being childish, and please check your spelling. And because you're such a smart guy, maybe you could entertain the notion that, although we cannot totally escape the bombardment of the psyche, there ARE alternatives. Should I tell you what I think they are? No. I'll let you sleep comfy in your intellectual cave. Sweet dreams, baboon. You must think we as people have reached our highest level of consciousness. Top of the food chain. But I guess you're so concerned about trying to survive and eat brains and reap souls that are due that you forget the universe is a large place, and people have a long way to go.

crick is a commie? hippie? (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (09.12.2000 2:07:05 PM EST) dear sir - I find your article very perceptiveand well presented. especially your understanding of the power and importance of language itself - "remote control" and "program" being words that perhaps mean more than we realize. You are obviously a man of deep thought and intelligence. However, your childish grasp of commercial media and the engine which fuels it are an anomoly for such a thinker as yourself. First off - the current rash of game shows is not a scourge to us as a people nor a way of "programming" our minds - TV sells ideas and products and sucessful shows allow that message to be heard by a broad audience of people - if there were no commercials there would be one channel - PBS and this would be run by the government. Thank god for commercial TV - it allows for sports, news, technology, jobs - Despite big business being inherently evil, the free market offers us the widest platform for new show development - (I would rather see a few annoying commercials than watch upstairs/downstairs or masterpiece theater - anyday), perhaps you are one of thos elitest PBS bag toting environmentalists who think they are smarter and more evolved because they read a few books on buddhism or media consumption and somehow feel "the system" is corrupting the slackjawed masses - I thought the sixties were over - thank you very much - your types are now the exact people running the show and whats changed kid? so Prilosec tells me I have a need i did not know i have - dont i have a mind of my own? I am not programmed - i let myself become programmed - as do you believe it or not. Even if you turn the box off, do you think the levis you wear dont help you to understand the person you are? the baseball cap with your favorite team logo, your haircut? your choice of aftershave? all these little "symbols" or products shape your perception of yourself, identify you with a "tribe" - "mr. white middle class intellectual but not a yuppie" are you programmed to believe or interpret this? is culture a problem? we all have one mr. crick. Human nature is still Nature. Accept it and move on. There will always be sheep whose dollars and souls will be devoured by predators - like drug companies and ad campaigns - the fact is, there is nothing wrong with this - if you are a sheep you wont know or care and if you are a wolf - dig in for the feast - build your website and sell your products - reap the souls you are due, wipe the brains from your chin and smile - unless you are jealous or unempowered and feel , "life must be fair" - in which case you are a sheep in wolf's clothing but still a sheep. As for survivor, no TV show has been so revolutionary in concept and has made people think about human relationships as much in a long time (on TV). No TV show paralells real life - as a microcosm - such as this. Whats wrong with kicking people out in a group vote? doesnt that happen in real life? havent YOU kicked someone out of your life? formed secret alliaces, dalliances - dont we all do this trying to survive? (and thats not even on TV) in this imperfect world. I ask you crick to lead by example or eat your words formally in this forumor throw you TV set out the window, (watch MOnday NIght Football at someone else's house - (dont forget to thank ALL the sponsers for providing the cameras, personnell, and raw cash needed for the NFL to exist - before closing your eyes and ears to the commercials) make your own clothes and grow your own food, (lest your new boots or cereal purchase was inspired by an image or ad campaign), and finally you might as well gouge out your own eyes, cut off your ears and then alas you may have won the battle against being programmed - I imagine you will,at last, be happy. All in all - we are survivors in an imperfect world TV and art in general (yes TV is art, pop art but art - even commercials are art) reflect the needs and aspirations of its audience - they do not lead as much as they follow. the fact that it is mass (TV) lends itself more to shaping ideas and culture than the mona lisa or the sistine chapel , but in essence these works of art were commercials to show the power and beauty of the church and the wealthy -" look and behold the new jesus billboard on the ceiling it is so beautiful you must believe and pay your tithe" Its the same game,crick, just the names, faces and technology has changed. its not bad or wrong, just human. (Imagine the trickster as a ad exec) In closing, crick, perhaps you are too intelligent for the rest of us, to understand that we need this - people huger for direction and purpose - if big and small business does not tell them what to eat wear and feel - someone else will - what is the alternative smart guy, figure it out. sincerly, a survivor

Purple pill (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (09.12.2000 1:00:02 PM EST) What the hell is up your butt dude. Nobody is forced to take pills to help them out. It is a choice. By the way, they do not tell you what a prescription drug does in the commercial because of legal issues. If they tell you what it does then they have to list the side effects. Some commercials do and some don't. Pay attention and lay off the dope.

yeah!!! (0 replies) started by prettyangel (09.11.2000 6:25:04 PM EST) and dont forget about lamisil the drug that is supposed to cure the "infection" in your nails! i say get over it its not an infection your nails just look really nasty okay?? I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

It's actually much worse... (3 replies) started by oliverclozoff (09.08.2000 2:37:36 AM EST) Not only do people feel they need all this crap, they think they're entitled to get it FREE! The leader of this purtid parade of victims is our own vice president, Algore. He's buying the votes of the old farts by promising them free drugs. BTW, it's illegal to bribe voters with alcohol; that's why the bars are closed on election day. But Prozac is somehow okay. What this dickhole doesn't seem to realize is that nothing is free. Somebody's going to have to pay. Hey, if Gramps wants to screw Granny, that's fine with me. And If he needs a $10 pill to get it up, well he can spend his money on whatever floats his boat. But we shouldn't be taxing his grandkids into poverty to make them pay for it. The old people have already fucked out of more than $2 trillion with that Ponsey scheme called Social Security. They all paid in about 2% of their income and got back all their damned money PLUS INTEREST in less than two years. Before they die, not only will have they gotten back all their contributions, they will have taken all the money their kids paid in, and a good chunk of their grandkids' money as well. There are more millionaires per capita over 65 than any other age group. Now they want the rest of us to give them free drugs? I say FUCK 'EM! Fellow, American Association of Amateur Gynecologists

Well (0 replies) started by RedNeckedTulsan (09.07.2000 4:44:39 PM EST) This rant has made me aware that i need to up my prozac dose. Nice one. Sad to say almost 50% of the USA economy is based on consumerism. Stop that and we all get poor hmmm or do we?

One I can work with (1 reply) started by spoiler (09.07.2000 10:33:39 AM EST) Even though I'm still a little sour over your assumption that I couldn't finish reading your first one because I couldn't, rather than the true fact that I just didn't want to, this one was worth finishing. It does seem the lazy attitudes of people these days is to find the immediate fix rather than figuring out what's wrong and taking care of it naturally. I also found the purple pill ad funny as well, still not knowing what it was, but it seems they're trying to bring back the old days of acid trips for the older bored slobs who have nothing better to do. Again, as did Crick, I should say that if you seriously need these medications, all the power to you, but it is getting a little out of hand with the promotion they're all getting. It's almost as if they want you to go out and grab a 6-pack, a box of purple pills, and go say WAAAAAZZAAAAAPPP to your local physician to find out if this is right for you before coming home and visiting the innovative new www.whatever.com, to feed your pedophilic fetish and find your next viagra-tester Barbie doll babygirl. Drugs, medications, prescriptions....whatever, just use the old-fashioned solution and take a fuckin nap. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, cuz you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Oh ya, i forgot.. (0 replies) started by Leary (09.07.2000 1:41:47 AM EST) when I'm 65, if I need viagra, I doubt iI would tell millions of viewers about it Leary's First Rule of Pessimism: If at first you dont succeed, give up, you obviously were not good at it in the first place.

Can someone tell me... (1 reply) started by Leary (09.07.2000 1:38:53 AM EST) why is it that all the girls who are on the douche commercials dont ~look~ like they need to douche? And also...do they have to talk about it like it's something we all want to hear about? I hate eating my dinner to commercials that show the nice blue liquid being sucked up by a sponge. Good rant Crick. but next time, can you tell us what you ~really~ think? Haha, seeya! Leary's First Rule of Pessimism: If at first you dont succeed, give up, you obviously were not good at it in the first place.

Well excuse me (0 replies)   started by JSkills (09.07.2000 0:23:33 AM EST) but I need to go and douche. I am feeling "not so fresh". You know, many woman have told me that douch commercials are just like these drugs they tell you that you need when you don't. Douching throws off the natural Ph balance down there. What the hell does it mean to feel "not so fresh" anyway? JSkills Goofball Staff

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