Although I’m known as the "computer guy" in my circle of friends, I have recently been noticing the level of people’s surprise when I tell them I don’t yet own a digital camera. And my video camera is more than six years old. It’s almost on purpose. I know myself, and when I do end up making these kinds of purchases, I always end up getting a little carried away. I can’t go into a CompUSA without leaving several hundred dollars lighter.
After a good deal of research, I decided on a Sony product that actually serves both purposes – a digital camcorder and a digital camera for good quality still images.
Following links from CNET for the best prices from their "recommended e-merchants", I ended up making the purchase online (like I do with everything I possibly can in life) at a placed called The Digital Dog. The price was close to $400 cheaper and it said the store had the unit and all the accessories in stock.
After making the online transaction this past Saturday (10/7), I was called back immediately by "Steve" the salesman. Steve wanted to verify my info, make sure I had everything I needed and attempt to hit me up for the classic "extended warranty" which is something no one should ever burn
money on. I was too wise for that, so he told me I could call back during the week for tracking / shipping info.
"Could I speak to you Steve?", I asked.
"I’m sorry sir, I just work on weekends, but someone will be able to get you the info".
I hung up. "No way to check online?" I thought to myself, "Well that’s pretty weak ass". But I tried to focus on the fact that I was saving a lot of money with them.
I called Monday and was immediately put on hold. They didn’t have "musak", they had a recording of Jerry Seinfeld’s standup routine. I listened to Jerry for a half hour. It beat crappy tunes you usually get while on hold. In the middle of his bit about how the town of Massapequa is from the Indian word for "by the mall", the phone begins ringing and someone picks it up.
"Hello", he says, uninterested.
"Yes hello, I placed an order with you on Saturday and I’d like to check the status..."
"Ummmmm...", he managed. This was followed by silence.
"Hello? Excuse me? Are you still there?"
"Uh yeah yeah – hold on." Now he was annoyed. I waited.
"Ok. Do you have your order number?" he asked.
"Yes I do" finally happy to have something positive going on.
"Oh wait. The computer’s down. We lost power in the whole building" he now sounded exasperated.
"Ok. Well maybe I should call back later then?" I tried to be nice.
"If you want..." he muttered.
"Well thanks, you’ve been of enormous help to me today."
I hung up. I called back the next morning. I listened to another half hour of Seinfeld while on hold. During the part about not wanting the pilot on an airplane telling him that the plane is at 30,000 feet just the same as he isn’t going to knock on the cockpit door to inform the captain he’s going to eat his peanuts now, the routine stops and I hear the sound of a phone ringing. It’s a lady’s voice this time and she asks to take my name and phone number. This obviously will never do for an impatient and untrusting freak like myself, so I tell her "no, please put me through to customer service". She tells me she will. And back on hold I go for another 25 minutes. It’s now at the beginning of the Seinfeld routine and I’ve actually heard it all when the routine stops and someone picks up. In my excitement to actually be getting a person to talk to, I accidentally press the wrong button on my phone and hang up. I can be such a clumsy jackass sometimes.
So on top of being thoroughly frustrated, I’m starting to get the douche chills about this company. I decide to do some research on them in the newsgroups. My heart sank immediately as I came across so many negative experiences people had written about. Most described the similar experiences to what I had and went on to describe what else was going to happen to me. Things I might have in store for me were mysterious extra charges on my credit card, the order showing up incorrect or incomplete, and the order taking several months to arrive. Also described were the dealings with the various people who worked the phones – none of which were anything short of horrifically insulting. One guy is so pissed off, he even created a website about his experience at www.thedigitaldogsucks.homepage.com.
I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I was the same foolish teenager giving my money to a stranger on the streets of New York City in the hopes of getting a discount on a fake ID all over again. I had done so much research on the product itself, I simply trusted CNET when it came to recommending the place to buy it online.
After reading everyone else’s horror stories, I called back again on Tuesday. I was on hold for 40 minutes this time, but finally got through. I got "Chris" in customer service. He was pleasant and friendly. I gave him the order number and told him Steve said I could call and ask for the status. He said "Ok, hold please" to which I said "Oh no, please not hold again!". More Seinfeld. He came back in a minute or two and began telling me how Steve should have never told me to call since orders take "7-10 business days to be processed and approved". He told me his boss had Steve in the office right now and was "ripping him a new one" for telling me such misleading information. That was the final straw for me. The blatant lie about Steve couldn’t be true, since Steve told me he only worked weekends.
"I’d like to cancel my order".
Silence.
"Chris, I’d like to cancel my order."
"Why?" his tone was much different now.
"I just want to."
"Ok hold on while I get my manager."
I was on hold listening to the Seinfeld routine I now hated for another 25 minutes. It was incredible, like they were doing everything in their power to make me hang up in frustration. Finally, an extremely annoyed "Richard Lewis" the manager got on the phone. When I told him I wanted to cancel the order, he demanded to know why.
I stopped him right there and said "First of all, I am recording this conversation".
"Fine" he said, like he hears that from all of his customers all the time.
"But there's going to be a cancellation fee of 5%".
"No I don’t think so." I came back with firmly, "Your policy states it is for 'special orders' only and this is not one of them".
Silence.
Finally he gives me a cancellation number and hangs up on me rudely, as though the last thing I said to him was that I wanted to bugger his mother.
I call my credit card company and find out that they are showing the full charge on the card. I cannot dispute the charge until I actually receive the bill which is some more fun for me down the line.
On Wednesday, at 5:30 pm, I ordered the same product from Outpost.com and it arrived the next day at 10 am (no tax and free overnight shipping). Two accessories I had ordered were not in the package, but Outpost’s website clearly indicated they were on back order. I called Outpost and after five minutes on hold, spoke to a representative who promptly cancelled the back ordered items that I didn’t want to wait for.
The morale of this story? I don’t know. Maybe it's that Seinfeld is not funny after you listen to him several times? Maybe it’s simply that I'd love to prevent anyone from being an ass like me and going through an experience like this. Stick to the names you know when buying online. Hopefully I can save at least one person from ever doing business with that hellhole company.
~SweetiePeach~
