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George W. Bush
 
"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot). Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004
 
 

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Plan for Peace

By: JSkillsPublished: 05/08/2003
 
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I recently came across this interesting peace plan ...

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. We will promise never to "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 day visits unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.

5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere". They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets "lost" or is taken by their army. The people who need it most get very little, anyway.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

9b) Use the buildings as replacement for the twin towers.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

Now, ain't that a winner of a plan.

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

Editor's Note: Attributed to a quote by Robin Williams.

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  • More Rants...

     

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Can I get you .... (0 replies)
    started by luvly1
    (05.25.2003 12:24:35 PM EST)

    nominated for presidency JS????

    With a plan like this... there should be any problem get you elected!

    It was not Robin Williams (0 replies)
    started by obiwan
    (05.20.2003 5:49:03 PM EST)

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/williams.asp

    ~Obiwan~

    Marvin's a... (1 reply)
    started by joeythebrick
    (05.09.2003 8:55:02 AM EST)

    ...dildo! You ain't from 'round here, is ya? Don't like it, don't visit. Excellent stuff, Skills. I think we need to also eliminate work visas, no?

    Work's for me... (0 replies)
    started by michaelcarl
    (05.09.2003 6:12:23 AM EST)

    It's nice to here something good come out of a Bush bashing democrat.

    Rock & Roll

    Will you also promise (0 replies)
    started by marvin
    (05.09.2003 4:24:07 AM EST)

    to keep your goddamn yankee tourist trade at home ? We don't want them over here moaning about every petty little thing and totally unable to cope with the traffic driving on the opposite side of the road.

    Is it alright if I pay in dollars ? NO!, it fucking well isn't !

    Will you accept a Bank of New Jersey credit card ? NO!!!!!!!!!!

    Hehe

    Oh yeah .... stop crashing your spacejunk down on the rest of us !

    Good one JSkills .... just add a few more promises ;-)

    Kiss My Ass ;-)

    Damn straight!!! (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (05.09.2003 1:58:38 AM EST)


    Great rant JSkills

    ^5


    Just protecting my sheep
    fuck yeah (0 replies)  
    started by bigjohn2
    (05.08.2003 10:15:32 PM EST)

    give it a couple months they will be begging us to interfere again......

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