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George W. Bush
 
"If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all." - Remarks to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute, Washington, D.C., May 22, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"When I give the order abandon ship, it doesn't matter what time I leave. If some people want to stay, they can stay."
— Captain Yiannis of the cruise liner 'Oceanos', which sank off the cost of Africa (Avranas was one of the first to get off the ship.)
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#70 A "jiffy" is actually 1/100 of a second.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What do you call santa's helpers?
A. Subordinate clauses.
 
 


Check Out Time

By: Gunner96Published: 01/15/2001
 
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Now that the so-called holiday season is over I found myself, like many folks, returning a couple of items to the store for a refund or exchange when it finally hit me! Three exchanges; one refund, paying cash, and using the charge card... do you realize how many cashiers can't count and do simple addition and subtraction?!?!

Standing in line for nearly 15 minutes, (seemingly feeling like 30), I approach the cashier with a refund, and a brand new shirt which I plan to pay for.

"Will this be cash or charge?" she asked in a loud, authoritarian voice.
"Well," I say calmly, "Cash for the shirt, with the refund from the return."
Looking quite puzzled the cashier says, "Pardon me?"
Once again, I repeated, "Cash for the shirt, with the refund from the return."

By now, I knew she was lost. The look on her face was one of a person who had just entered a checkbook balancing adult education class, only to hear a professor of mathematics say "Welcome to Advanced Calculus." She immediately picked up a telephone, queued in some number and said "Manager to the Men's Department...code 114 please."

Within seconds an older gentleman, probably in his 60's, came over to the register.

"Yes sir, can I help you?"
"Sure", I said, "I would like to return this pair of pants, and with the money I receive from this return, I would like to buy this shirt."
"And your receipt, sir?"
"Right here," I said.

Within a few minutes, this gentleman showed the young lady how to do a refund, give me the money back, ring up my new shirt, and process the payment.

During this whole evolution, I began having flashbacks of how many times I have gone through this type of ordeal - along with many others. I thought to myself, 'Damn, after only being here for 35 minutes... I finally got that new shirt I wanted.' Then, in a faint voice, I heard the cashier say, "I'm sorry sir, I've only been here since the 5th of December, and this all still fairly new."

"No problem," I said, "I understand." But you know what...I didn't understand. For 30-days now, this cashier has been probably performing this same feat day in and day out.

"Ahhhh...did you say since the 5th of December?" I asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"And you still need the manager's help?" I said.
"Not now...not anymore. I finally understand this."
She then began to show me just how the manger did my return. Taking my same pair of pants (once again), scanning the refund, and then handing me $27.00.
"See, that wasn't long now was it? Would you like the shirt done?"
"No thanks," was my reply, "I've seen enough."

The cashier, being quite humble and proud of her latest accomplishment, said, "OK, here's your refund...and have a nice day."

Man, for 30 seconds I felt guilty. Exchanging one pair of pants for two refunds and buying a new shirt to boot. And all I had to pay was 35 minutes of my time.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it? Hearing on the news that the retail industry had a bad holiday sale season. Gee...I wonder why?!

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    how true, how true (0 replies)
    started by testiclees
    (01.31.2001 5:03:54 PM EST)

    i guess thats what u get when the majority of america's youth have absolutly no goals what-so-ever.

    I am Testiclees: Lord of the Pants

    lmmfao@Oliver (0 replies)
    started by SuicideKing
    (01.17.2001 2:00:11 AM EST)

    that was the funniest thing I've read in a long time, and it makes sense..hahaha...oh well, who cares who we're owned by, they'll never take us over because we brandish guns instead of brains, and therefore I guess that's sort of an advantage and sort of a downfall, since we also have the highest crime rate. anyways, I'm just saying some country might own all our businesses, but I bet we'd never let them be live-in owners

    heh
    damn I'm stoned


    §Üî©ìÐéK‡ñG
    Killers are silent

    We're in deep shit... (1 reply)
    started by OliverClozoff
    (01.15.2001 6:31:01 PM EST)


    Did you ever notice that when you go to a Chinese restaurant, the guy adds up the bill on one of those little green pads using a stubby little pencil with no eraser; it takes him about 10 seconds to add up 7 different items; and it's always correct? Then when you go to McDonald's, have you noticed that they have to put pictures of the damned food on the cash register buttons?

    I swear, one more generation, and the Chinamen are going to own us.



    President, American Association of Amateur Gynecologists

    THAT`S NOTHING (0 replies)
    started by donut38
    (01.15.2001 3:23:46 PM EST)

    ONE TIME MY FAMILY AND I WENT OUT TO A FANCY RESTAURANT A NICE PLACE A LITTLE BETTER THAN THE PIZZA AND BURGER JOINTS THAT WE ARE USED TO ANY HOW THE BILL CAME TO ABOUT 50.00 I HANDED THE WAITRESS A HUNDRED AND TOLD HER TO KEEP TEN FOR HER SELF SHE HANDED ME BACK 158.60 IN CHANGE AND TOLD ME TO HAVE A NICE DAY

    I SAID THANK YOU I THINK I WILL

    NOT ONLY WAS OUR FOOD FREE WE GOT OUT OF THERE WITH ALMOST 60.00 MORE THAN WE WENT IN WITH

    I THOUGHT GEE WE SHOULD EAT HERE MORE OFTEN

    Guilt... (0 replies)
    started by gunlass
    (01.15.2001 2:51:20 PM EST)

    Good to know that very smart people like yourself are willing to help out others when they make mistakes. It's also good to know the prices will still be going up due to honest people like yourself. Just think the next time anyone buys those pants or any other item in that store everyone will be paying more and more. Guess everyone will pay one way or another.
    Guilt...ya right.

    We call em Guppy's (3 replies)
    started by RedNeckedTulsan
    (01.15.2001 12:21:23 PM EST)

    Whenever i go to Target or Penny's we run into these refugees from the loony assylum. We call them Guppy's because the just stand there and look at you with mouths rythmically moving.Maybe if you throw them fishflakes they would start eating? I am told it the good state of the economy that means there is so little labor that they have to hire what the can get. I think its inbreeding and the educational system. For a real kick try going to Burger King and asking for a cheesewhopper , hold the cheese, biggie sized rings, no fries and whatch the cashiers eyes start to stare and mouth start to move.Maybe we are devolving into fish.

    wow (0 replies)  
    started by VladTepes
    (01.15.2001 2:14:44 AM EST)

    what retards work at that store?

    Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

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