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Women Drivers

By: michaelcarlPublished: 04/29/2003
 
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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why: p> I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4,000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000.

In any given group of females 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip one off?....... I think not.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

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  • More Rants...

     

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Not me either (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (05.08.2003 1:18:29 AM EST)


    I know what can happen


    Just protecting my sheep
    lmfao (0 replies)
    started by bigjohn2
    (05.07.2003 4:00:57 PM EST)

    yeah better watch out for them...

    See guys? (0 replies)
    started by meesha
    (05.07.2003 11:22:34 AM EST)

    You should be nice to us gals when we're on the road!

    *Meow*

    LOL (1 reply)
    started by marvin
    (05.03.2003 4:27:50 AM EST)

    you know that 72% of statistics are just made up .... like this comment ?

    Kiss My Ass ;-)

    Look's like... (0 replies)
    started by michaelcarl
    (05.01.2003 7:05:18 PM EST)

    I open a can of worm's.

    Rock & Roll

    Or (0 replies)
    started by beo469
    (04.30.2003 7:46:07 PM EST)

    Just run the offender off the road. Male or Female,

    y'know (0 replies)  
    started by marcanthony
    (04.30.2003 3:24:21 PM EST)

    I think I would flip'em off just to see what happened. Then blame it on the twinkies

    You wanna touch my what?

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