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Stupid News Clips
Submitted By: TheAdvisor
Article Date: 02/17/1999
URL: http://www.goofball.com/news/990215_stupid_news_clips

The Portland School District in Oregon has announced a plan to offer "snitch pay" to students who rat out their classmates. Rewards will range from 10 to 30 dollars for kids who turn in friends who are carrying guns and drugs on school grounds. Officials expect the program to work well, but at least one student described it as "a good way to get beat up..."

A gun vendor in Oklahoma has been arrested for selling X-rated video tapes from his booth at a gun show at the Tulsa Fairgrounds... guns don't kill people, pornography do...

Believers are flocking to a church in Wareham, Massachusetts, where parishioners claim that the face of Jesus has appeared on a closet door. They say the image of the Savior is clearly visible in the wood grain after a recent staining... these people probably also believe the police are real...

A Lexington, Kentucky man may get three years in prison for cruelty to a cat. Police say the animal was beaten, doused with gasoline, set on fire and hung from a street sign. Steven Griffith told the judge he killed the cat as an "act of kindness..."